headcanon

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Putting this all in one place, mostly so I don't forget any of it. Some of it is taken from comics-Falcon stuff, some of it's come up in threads, and some of it I just like or seems to make sense.

Family/childhood
-Dad was a minister, Mom was a community activist
-older brother Gideon, older sister Sarah
-Dad was killed trying to stop a fight when Sam was 17
-Sam enlisted right out of high school, in 1996
-Joined pararescue partly because of his dad, wanting to help people in his own way
-Gideon has a son and two daughters (Jim, Darlene, and Talia), Sarah has a daughter and a son (Jody and Paul)
-Sam volunteered at a raptor rehabilitation center in high school

Pararescue
-One of his early missions was really messy, enemy and friendly fire everywhere, and downed soldier looked more like meat than a person by the time Sam got to him. It was the first time Sam really believed there was nothing he could do for the guy he was supposed to save. But the soldier, Kyle, pulled through, somehow, and after that Sam tried to make a point of never considering someone past help.

-one of the guys in one of Sam's units had a thing for Afghan foxes. He'd spend tons of downtime trying to lure one in with grapes and pieces of jerky. It never worked.

EXO-7 Falcon
-recruited for the program when he was 27, after nine years of service
-Only he and Riley were ever able to fly with any skill
-reached the rank of Tech Sergeant
-retired at the age of 31

-One of the soldiers Sam helped on a rescue op was delirious, apparently very religious, and thought Sam was an actual angel. No matter how many times Sam introduced himself, the guy just kept calling him Samael. Sam tried not to be offended, because Samael was kind of a jerk, man. Plus, you know, angel of death. Riley laughed at him for weeks.

After Retirement
-Sam played music a lot when he first got back, to make it seem like he wasn't so alone. When he first started wanting to sing along, he took it as a sign he was making progress. He still sings when no one's around, or just when he's not thinking about it.

-There's a lot of break up songs Sam doesn't like. It's nothing against them, most of them are perfectly good songs in their own right, but they'd played a lot his first year back. When your mind's a mess and all you pick up are lyrics like what do you do when you look in the mirror and staring at you is why he's not here, i miss the way we used to argue, when someone great is gone, or it's a quarter after one and I'm a little drunk and I need you now, well, it doesn't help.

-The first 4th of July after Sam got back, he got suckered into going to a neighbor's barbecue. He spent most of it throwing up in the bathroom, trying to hide from fireworks that became RPGS and burned burgers that he was convinced was charred flesh. After that, Sam started attending groups at the VA, and slowly started investing in his recovery.

-For a long time, the smell of lilac made him feel sick and almost hopeless without him really knowing why. Then he ran into Kyle again, who wanted to thank Sam for his part in saving him, and Kyle's fiance, who wore lilac perfume. Kyle told him that he carried a small bottle of it everywhere when he'd been serving overseas, and it'd broke and soaked through his clothes the day he was wounded. Kyle believed smelling it everywhere was the only thing that kept him hanging on until help got there; Sam finally figured out why lilac made him want to hurl. It's better now, but he still doesn't like the scent.

-At his sister and therapist's encouragement, he started volunteering again at another wildlife rehabilitation center, just to do something to get him out of the house on a regular basis.

VA/Clients

CA:TWS
-been out for four years
-He didn't really worry, but a small part of him did wonder if he'd have any trouble putting on the wings again after why he retired them, if something about them would end up being a trigger. They didn't, and he did just fine. He's still not sure if he should feel a little guilty, that his love for the sky and his need to do what's right outweighed any lingering grief he had for Riley.