sizeofyourbaggage: (we're boned)
Sam Wilson ([personal profile] sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
Entry tags:

mental link








INHALE, EXHALE
guilt. regret. the truth.
figure out how to live with it.



COURAGE
that others may live.
whatever it takes.



LOYALTY
respect. trust.
never ending sass.



SOAR
step 1: kick ass
step 2: fly away






earthborn: (where she has taken no precautions)

[personal profile] earthborn 2017-11-14 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
[The answer is a scoff, half-bitter and half-resigned, and Shepard is something like grateful to be jigged off the rut of sorrowful nostalgia she finds herself in. She's always been more comfortable with sharper emotions, after all.]

( Fuck, Sam, I wish it was. People need reasons to do things-- Life's about give and take. Every now and then somebody comes along who's willing to risk everything for nothing, but you can't build on that foundation, not long-term. )

[Thane's voice, or the memory of it; turning towards her in a glance to acknowledge the courtesy of the information: I'm dying.

Would he have been so selfless if he hadn't been? If Thane had had many healthy decades ahead of him, time to heal, time to speak to Kolyat? Shepard thinks so. It was part of his exacting nature, the same thing that made him an exemplary assassin: you do the right things, because they are right, and because to do otherwise would put into disorder that which ought to be orderly.
]

( People need a reason to put up with all the bullshit, even if the only real reason they have is settling a debt. A few thousand dead colonists is just statistics, if they don't have an excuse to let go of the path of least resistance, the whole thing falls apart. )
bracchium: (y)

[personal profile] bracchium 2017-11-18 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Something isn't quite clicking for Bucky. He tries to process why Sam would give him a gift, despite Sam having done so in the past. His thoughts brush up against that belief that he doesn't deserve gifts, but he shakes the loose grip of the programming away. With Sam here, with their broodlink humming strong and their fingers tangled together, they can challenge the weaker protests of the programming.]

( For me? ) [He's still not entirely sure of the proposition, but he's listening.]
bracchium: (oi)

[personal profile] bracchium 2017-11-19 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Wow rude Sam. First you make him feel feelings and then tell him he stinks. That is, Bucky doesn't quite accept the first half of Sam's response, or the way it makes him warm deep in his chest. However, the second half he's much more accustomed to hearing. A grin breaks across his face as he nudges Sam right back.]

( You saying I stink? )
bracchium: (i)

[personal profile] bracchium 2017-11-20 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
[More than kissing, Bucky enjoys this sort of intimate contact. Their foreheads press together and a sense of contentment, of love, washes across the link. He wants Sam to use the words, but the timing feels off, what with the mission and the stress placed on its success. A large part of him wants to run with Sam out into the desert, where they can be really alone for more than a few moments. But Sam needs to be here, needs to be the leader they all know him to be.

He can't let Sam push that to the wayside.
]

( I'll think about it? ) [He tries to make it sound like a statement, but he's questioning himself even as he responds. There's no promise they won't run into a situation where Sam needs to control Bucky, no promise that the Soldier won't emerge on this mission. He hates that uncertainty.]
earthborn: (when torrential water tosses boulders)

[personal profile] earthborn 2017-11-21 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Shepard is silent for a long, strange moment. She doesn't know what to think, or what to say. It's almost like quiet, in her head, impossible as that seems; the thoughts are just standing around, looking. Like at a movie.

Shepard has a brief, mad wish that Sam could have seen her world as she knew it, firsthand. The skyscrapers of Illium and the inverse skyline on Omega, the beauty of nebulae and-- and the people.

Would Thane have liked Sam? Surely he would. She wishes she could introduce him to Garrus, to Steve Cortez, to the whole of clan Urdnot. But it's impossible, and all those people might as well be dead for all she feels likely to see them again in this lifetime. Grief rolls back in, like rising bile.
]

( You are so lucky I'm drunk right now. ) [She is not drunk right now. She's been drinking, sure, but keeping up with the overactive scrubbers Cerberus gave her bloodstream is not a gentle task, nor a cheap one.] ( You're a softie, you know that, Sam Wilson? You better hope your idealistic crap isn't contagious. )

[She's already infected.]
bracchium: (ws)

[personal profile] bracchium 2017-11-23 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bucky melts again with the scratching and if Sam hadn't pressed their lips together, he would have. That said, he follows Sam's kiss with a couple of his own. The same thrill as before pushes into his veins, just as intoxicating as ever. He wants to stop talking, about what could be, what should be. Right now, all he wants is to spend time with his... Sam. He wants to chase this thrill and explore the depths of it.]
earthborn: (to conduct espionage)

[personal profile] earthborn 2017-11-25 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
( Try to put a little light in the world before you die? )

[There's the echo of a drell rasp in that phrase, the memory of Thane saying the same thing. Siha, he'd called her, and named her like a valkyrie, a warrior angel, a patron spirit. Shepard can't help but feel like Sam is, in his own way, doing the same. She takes a drink, to fortify herself against the sentiment.]

( You know... We've gotten to know each other pretty well, by now. You can use my name, if you want. My first name. )
earthborn: (subdue the enemy without fighting)

[personal profile] earthborn 2017-11-27 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
( Ha. Next you'll be telling me that using my first name would be a breach of respect. You wanna hear a secret? )

[Of course you do. It's a secrets kind of day.]

( I made it up. Jane Doe, right there on my file. I am the proverbial undocumented child, no DNA profile on record, wasn't even registered as a biotic risk until I was seventeen, believe it or not. ) [She laughs. She genuinely thinks that's funny-- all this oversight, right down to the biometrics, and they still miss whole people. Lots of people. fat lot of good all that careful math has been.] ( But I've been Jane Shepard for more than half my life, Sam. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered filling out the damn name form, if nobody was ever gonna use it )
Edited 2017-11-27 03:11 (UTC)
earthborn: (where she has taken no precautions)

[personal profile] earthborn 2017-11-28 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
( I keep telling you, you come work for me, it's all maverick moves and no red tape. Leave all that U-S-A crap behind. )

[Tic-Tac? Ew. But lucky or not, maybe the reason he'd refrained is because he knew, in some weird osmotic way, about the short life and ill fate of "Lola"]

( No pressure. ) [Metaphorically, at least. Shepard doesn't know how to-- to press, hand in hand, like this. She's never been about a gentle grip. But just the feeling of it, the sentiment, is almost enough to quell her.] ( It's just... You know. Right? )

[Where did Falcon end and Sam Wilson begin? Where did Jane exist in the shadow of Commander Shepard? You can't be on-duty all the time.]
earthborn: (pensive mood lighting is how i roll)

[personal profile] earthborn 2017-12-01 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
[That's so like him. And that's the first thing she thinks, with nothing more than a roll of the eyes and an unwilling smile. For once, that lingering feeling of doubt, like a noose around her neck, doesn't exert itself. She opens her mouth, and the truth falls out.]

( Sam, I-- )

[The truth almost falls out.

Instead, she hesitates, and the part of her that's always running calculations, always doing that brutal calculus snaps an inequity at her that is more than fair. She considers it, the whole of the two of them, with relationships spiraling out around them, momentarily visible like spider-web connections, linked by the Symbiote.

The Nest thinks it's trapped them.

But Shepard knows better; Sam would have become one of hers even without a chain to yank, not that she's been tempted. He was too dedicated, too skilled, too much like and unalike her in all the ways she's never been unable to recognize. Sometimes, you find your family, and sometimes it finds you. And with Thane, she had never been as honest as she should have. Caution and fear had made her waste what little time they had; a regret she'll never be able to kill, a wound that will never die. Never again.

Commander Shepard makes a decision. Jane is the one who carries it out.
]

( I love you. )
sistershoggoth: (pic#8730480)

[personal profile] sistershoggoth 2017-12-05 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ Her face smashed in a pillow, hiding from the rays of the sun rising, ignoring the edges of a hangover; she's daydreaming, mind reaching -- fingers, not so subtle, intruding, sliding slowly. ]

( Hey. You up. )
Edited 2017-12-05 03:54 (UTC)
bracchium: (rs)

[personal profile] bracchium 2017-12-06 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[Bucky chuckles, shaking his head. This is nice. Despite wanting to leave Sam flowers anonymously, he's glad he got caught, if just so they could have this moment right here. There haven't been enough of them on this mission.]

( Guess I'll have to use these flowers I gave you to spruce myself up. )

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