Sam Wilson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
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[Moments like these- sitting side-by-side, talking as if Sam didn't have every reason to run and leave a broken weapon- remind Bucky of Brooklyn, of warm summer days, jumping from shadow to shadow to avoid burning brick. Or sitting in the shade under a tree overlooking the river.Things weren't easy back then, but they were simpler, uncomplicated by war or brainwashing.
He continues to beam, his mouth edging into a wry smirk.]
So what're you gonna do without this one if I challenge you?
He continues to beam, his mouth edging into a wry smirk.]
So what're you gonna do without this one if I challenge you?
[ The question catches Sam by surprise, and there's a startled burst of laughter, deep and genuine. ]
You're such a jackass, what the hell, man. [ And yet Sam's expression is lit up, and there's no mistaking the tone for anything else but fond amusement. Yeah, he can see why this guy is friends with Steve; they've both got the same kind of sense of humor.
Of course, it's Sam's kind of sense of humor, too. ]
Then I guess I'm gonna buy you a drink. You name the kind and you'll get it, probably not dumped on your head.
You're such a jackass, what the hell, man. [ And yet Sam's expression is lit up, and there's no mistaking the tone for anything else but fond amusement. Yeah, he can see why this guy is friends with Steve; they've both got the same kind of sense of humor.
Of course, it's Sam's kind of sense of humor, too. ]
Then I guess I'm gonna buy you a drink. You name the kind and you'll get it, probably not dumped on your head.
[It's almost a shame Bucky doesn't drink anymore; free drinks from Sam sounds like a pretty good deal. He meets Sam's laughter with his own low chuckling. It's been a long, long time since he's done something like this and it's like a breath of fresh air.
It quiets, like all bright moments in his life, but Bucky's countenance is a bit brighter, a bit more relaxed. He bites down on the side of his lip as he turns the coin in his fingers, a swell of affection and joy crashing through him.
He doesn't have much in the way of personal items, sentimental or otherwise. More since he came to Concordia, but every one of them leaves a significant impact on him. The weapon wasn't ever allowed to keep anything, not even his own memories. The assassin couldn't hold onto his freedom or his backpack of notes on his life.]
Thanks. [The word is small and quiet, but deeply reverent.]
It quiets, like all bright moments in his life, but Bucky's countenance is a bit brighter, a bit more relaxed. He bites down on the side of his lip as he turns the coin in his fingers, a swell of affection and joy crashing through him.
He doesn't have much in the way of personal items, sentimental or otherwise. More since he came to Concordia, but every one of them leaves a significant impact on him. The weapon wasn't ever allowed to keep anything, not even his own memories. The assassin couldn't hold onto his freedom or his backpack of notes on his life.]
Thanks. [The word is small and quiet, but deeply reverent.]
[ It's good, seeing Bucky laugh like this. Being able to give him a space where he can relax a little, for however brief of a time. This, right here, this is one of the reasons that Sam'd offered to help Steve look for him in the first place, that he spent two years trying to find him. There was a time when Sam was the one who needed help getting his shit together, finding reasons to smile again, and he knows how important it is to have that.
It's become more than that now - it's become personal - but it hasn't changed the determination to plant himself firmly in Bucky's corner.
His laughter fades, but the smile doesn't, and he shakes his head before resting a hand on Bucky's knee. ]
Anytime. [ It's just as quiet, just as sincere, and he gives Bucky's knee a squeeze before he lets go. ] Come on, I'll make us something to eat. What d'you want? I've been making a lot of pizza, but I can do spaghetti or burgers pretty easy with what we've got.
It's become more than that now - it's become personal - but it hasn't changed the determination to plant himself firmly in Bucky's corner.
His laughter fades, but the smile doesn't, and he shakes his head before resting a hand on Bucky's knee. ]
Anytime. [ It's just as quiet, just as sincere, and he gives Bucky's knee a squeeze before he lets go. ] Come on, I'll make us something to eat. What d'you want? I've been making a lot of pizza, but I can do spaghetti or burgers pretty easy with what we've got.
[Bucky doesn't mind the touch to his knee as he does some deep breathing, but for a reason other than panic. He's not the type to get emotional. He doesn't do emotions, but the sense of gratitude is so profound he can't help but eek out some uneasy laughter in an attempt to vent some of the pressure under the surface. Bucky still focuses his gaze on the floor, but he nods anyway.
He's just shy of exhausted coming out of the other side of the mental ordeal and food sounds like a great idea, even if he thinks he doesn't deserve it, any of this.]
Hot dogs? [Okay he's not a man with fancy taste.]
He's just shy of exhausted coming out of the other side of the mental ordeal and food sounds like a great idea, even if he thinks he doesn't deserve it, any of this.]
Hot dogs? [Okay he's not a man with fancy taste.]
[ Emotions are hard, Sam gets that. But he's come a long way to believe that the good ones are worth all of the bad, even if the bad are real damn shitty. As far as he's concerned, Bucky feeling emotions is a new success.
He'll just maybe try to ease Bucky into them a little, because he knows they can be overwhelming - hell, he can feel it a little, through the mental link. So he doesn't call attention to that laughter, just lets Bucky do whatever he needs to in order to feel a little more comfortable, as though it were normal. It is normal, really, at least to Sam.
Sam gives an amused snort at hot dogs, but he's definitely not gonna veto something if Bucky's actually volunteering a preference. ]
Hot dogs it is. [ He pushes himself up to his feet, absolutely using Bucky's shoulder to steady himself, and then offers him a hand up. ] If I make you a root beer float to go with, that gonna count as the drink I owe you?
He'll just maybe try to ease Bucky into them a little, because he knows they can be overwhelming - hell, he can feel it a little, through the mental link. So he doesn't call attention to that laughter, just lets Bucky do whatever he needs to in order to feel a little more comfortable, as though it were normal. It is normal, really, at least to Sam.
Sam gives an amused snort at hot dogs, but he's definitely not gonna veto something if Bucky's actually volunteering a preference. ]
Hot dogs it is. [ He pushes himself up to his feet, absolutely using Bucky's shoulder to steady himself, and then offers him a hand up. ] If I make you a root beer float to go with, that gonna count as the drink I owe you?
[Spoiler alert, he and Steve love hot dogs. Bucky doesn't realize he's made a request until Sam acknowledges it, but the fact that Sam's not making a big deal of it leaves Bucky under the pressure of more emotions. Another venting chuckle escapes him as he nods. He bites down on his lip to try and keep more of those from escaping.]
That mean I gotta challenge you? [He doesn't really know how to initiate a challenge anyway so this might be a touch difficult.
Bucky first tucks the coin into his pocket before accepting the hand up.]
That mean I gotta challenge you? [He doesn't really know how to initiate a challenge anyway so this might be a touch difficult.
Bucky first tucks the coin into his pocket before accepting the hand up.]
[ Bucky is always welcome to crash okay.
Sam’d been gearing up for the Loke interrogation, going over the haphazard plan they'd manage to come up with in the short amount of time they have, but he pulls his focus away as soon as he feels Bucky trying to contact him, and the drops it entirely once he hears what it's about.
And promptly tries to contact Bellamy, but nothing. It's not like when Clint was out or Rey still unconscious in his room - and maybe he keeps too close of an eye on Gacrux, but that's beside the point - and he reaches immediately out to Clint, to get him to test the link. ]
( Shit. It’s - it’s not like Giorno or Rey, he's still around, just distant. It feels like the couple of times I've gone too far from the Bearings, like a radio out of range. I haven't seen him since the party, you know if anyone's seen him around after then? )
Sam’d been gearing up for the Loke interrogation, going over the haphazard plan they'd manage to come up with in the short amount of time they have, but he pulls his focus away as soon as he feels Bucky trying to contact him, and the drops it entirely once he hears what it's about.
And promptly tries to contact Bellamy, but nothing. It's not like when Clint was out or Rey still unconscious in his room - and maybe he keeps too close of an eye on Gacrux, but that's beside the point - and he reaches immediately out to Clint, to get him to test the link. ]
( Shit. It’s - it’s not like Giorno or Rey, he's still around, just distant. It feels like the couple of times I've gone too far from the Bearings, like a radio out of range. I haven't seen him since the party, you know if anyone's seen him around after then? )
[Bucky himself is rippling with nervous energy going into his own end of the mission, but he attempts to contain it with the challenge coin clutched tight in his hand.]
( The guy ) [Oh wait that's right he never got a name because he didn't ask for it.] ( said the same. Been a few days. )
( The guy ) [Oh wait that's right he never got a name because he didn't ask for it.] ( said the same. Been a few days. )
[ There's another smile when Bucky takes his hand up, and Sam lingers, just a little. Gives his hand another brief squeeze, strokes reassuringly over the back of his hand, before he lets go. There's a faint hint of understanding that bleeds over from Sam's side of the mental link. You're okay, man, it's okay to feel. Judgement free zone up in here.
Well. About emotional stuff, anyway, no promises on how much Bucky and Steve love hot dogs or anything else. ]
You just gotta pull it out and show it off, or drop it on the table to make a challenge, so I'll call this one a freebie.
Well. About emotional stuff, anyway, no promises on how much Bucky and Steve love hot dogs or anything else. ]
You just gotta pull it out and show it off, or drop it on the table to make a challenge, so I'll call this one a freebie.
[Sam sends more comfort over the link and Bucky can't help but silently marvel at his broodmate's temperament. He must be one hell of a counselor back home. When Bucky first arrived here with Sam as his broodmate, he hated it and the thought that Sam would always have some kind of backdoor into his head, but now? Now, it's not so bad and maybe he even likes having the support, shocker.
Whatever, two Brooklyn boys who grew up on nothing had to eat to survive and hot dogs were surviving.]
Wait, pretend to be Air Force? [Yuck. Gross. Clearly the worst part of this whole situation.]
Whatever, two Brooklyn boys who grew up on nothing had to eat to survive and hot dogs were surviving.
Wait, pretend to be Air Force? [Yuck. Gross. Clearly the worst part of this whole situation.]
Edited 2016-12-21 21:23 (UTC)
[ For a moment, Sam closes his eyes, lets himself feel Bucky's nervous energy as if it was his own - lets it mingle with his own premission agitation, and concentrates on breathing. In and out, slow and steady, noticing the tension in his body and letting it go, consciously relaxing his muscles. Breathe, just breathe.
Sam's mental link is open enough - he's unfocused enough, splitting his attention between his own mission, keeping his breathing steady, and now trying to track down Bellamy - that some of the flurry of his thought process probably leaks over it. Clint doesn't know anything more than that Bellamy is alive but distant; Bruce is with Pidge, preparing to hunt down the bomb; Lexa is asleep, and Shiro's worry over the mental link in general leads Sam to believe that he's the one who'd called it to Bucky's attention in the first place.
That leaves the Darkling and Murphy as the two that Sam knows keep Bellamy's company regularly, and he reaches out to them both, for all that he's never actually met Murphy. ]
( We'll find him. Even if we have to fly around the whole damn city after this until we can pick him up. )
Sam's mental link is open enough - he's unfocused enough, splitting his attention between his own mission, keeping his breathing steady, and now trying to track down Bellamy - that some of the flurry of his thought process probably leaks over it. Clint doesn't know anything more than that Bellamy is alive but distant; Bruce is with Pidge, preparing to hunt down the bomb; Lexa is asleep, and Shiro's worry over the mental link in general leads Sam to believe that he's the one who'd called it to Bucky's attention in the first place.
That leaves the Darkling and Murphy as the two that Sam knows keep Bellamy's company regularly, and he reaches out to them both, for all that he's never actually met Murphy. ]
( We'll find him. Even if we have to fly around the whole damn city after this until we can pick him up. )
[ He tips his chin slightly in acknowledgment of that. No, they don't really have a choice. But there's a difference in trusting them as far as they have to and trusting them with other things: like that they're telling them everything about the symbiote, or that they're not pushing some other agenda. At best, Sam figures they're sincere in their fight against the Enemy and want to protect innocents, but also more likely to put the Nest before anything else, including each of them individually. At worst - well, in his more paranoid times, he wonders about the timeliness of his rescue, the way he took his deal to save his team and half of them ended up here anyway, how he hasn't seen any sign of this Enemy since he arrived on the station.
But he listens to Aoba, and when his kneejerk reaction to that is they haven't given me a reason to trust them, either, he realizes that maybe today is one of his more paranoid times.
He pushes himself carefully up into a sitting position, holding still for a moment until his head stops protesting the move, a runs a hand over the back of his neck. ]
I got burned, little bit before I came here, by someone I thought I could trust. I guess I'm a little more gunshy than usual.
[ And he has a thing against following people whose agendas he doesn't know or potentially agree with, but that's not something he wants to go into. ]
But he listens to Aoba, and when his kneejerk reaction to that is they haven't given me a reason to trust them, either, he realizes that maybe today is one of his more paranoid times.
He pushes himself carefully up into a sitting position, holding still for a moment until his head stops protesting the move, a runs a hand over the back of his neck. ]
I got burned, little bit before I came here, by someone I thought I could trust. I guess I'm a little more gunshy than usual.
[ And he has a thing against following people whose agendas he doesn't know or potentially agree with, but that's not something he wants to go into. ]
[ Honestly, Sam had been the same. It's not like he wanted anyone to be in his head as much as his brood is, and he definitely hadn't been thrilled that one of them was Bucky Barnes, but they're making it work. He might even acknowledge that he's glad it's Bucky, instead of someone else - maybe - and he'll at least admit that it's easier to be the kind of support he wants to be, to do the kind of things that he'd done back at the VA, with the connection between them.
It's his experience at the VA that means his own sense of inter-branch rivalry has faded a little since he was younger. They all got the same problems, when it comes down to it. That, and it's easy to be gracious when everyone knows pararescue is the branch response for saving your dumb ass.
But it's good to see Bucky identify with something, to take pride in being in the army enough to hassle Sam about being in the air force, and he's got no problem dishing it back out. ]
Brother, I was pararescue, you'd be lucky to pretend to be one of us.
It's his experience at the VA that means his own sense of inter-branch rivalry has faded a little since he was younger. They all got the same problems, when it comes down to it. That, and it's easy to be gracious when everyone knows pararescue is the branch response for saving your dumb ass.
But it's good to see Bucky identify with something, to take pride in being in the army enough to hassle Sam about being in the air force, and he's got no problem dishing it back out. ]
Brother, I was pararescue, you'd be lucky to pretend to be one of us.
[ Aoba is being careful to stay out of Sam's mind while he's still in pain. For that, he takes what's said at face value without delving any deeper. Though there's a sense of heartache behind the words, and he doesn't need the symbiote to detect it. His expression falls as Sam's hardens. ]
I'm sorry that happened... I can't imagine...
[ He's been lucky not to have experienced much betrayal in life. His home was small, with good friends and only his grandmother to call family. And Sam is so kind, Aoba can hardly think of anyone wanting to hurt him.
He certainly never wants to. ]
I'm sure whatever happens, they mean well. I have to believe that.
[ He has to, just for the sake of remaining positive in this still new and uncertain place. The Nest. ]
I'm sorry that happened... I can't imagine...
[ He's been lucky not to have experienced much betrayal in life. His home was small, with good friends and only his grandmother to call family. And Sam is so kind, Aoba can hardly think of anyone wanting to hurt him.
He certainly never wants to. ]
I'm sure whatever happens, they mean well. I have to believe that.
[ He has to, just for the sake of remaining positive in this still new and uncertain place. The Nest. ]
[The answer, at least, is not unexpected. With the mission hanging so close, they can't take the time to search for Bellamy now. Bucky's not sure when they might be able to, but now is not an option and he knew that coming into the conversation with Sam. Still, the thought of leaving a potential ally to imprisonment doesn't sit well with Bucky.
The nervous energy of before builds, clouding Bucky's ability to hold calm conversations in his head.
Instead, he searches for Sam, tugging on the link like a line to lead him.
In his pocket, two coins clink together.
He doesn't knock.]
Before you go. [He holds out his hand, coin tucked into it.]
The nervous energy of before builds, clouding Bucky's ability to hold calm conversations in his head.
Instead, he searches for Sam, tugging on the link like a line to lead him.
In his pocket, two coins clink together.
He doesn't knock.]
Before you go. [He holds out his hand, coin tucked into it.]
[ Sam may not be able to pull away from the interrogation himself to look for Bellamy, but it's never been in him to be able to leave a friend or ally to an uncertain fate. This is one of the few occasions that he really appreciates the mental link, as he barges in to the Darkling and Ilde's minds.
It’s... unexpected, how concerned Bucky is about leaving Bellamy behind, and yet somehow not at that same time. Sam's been the recipient of Bucky's brand of protectiveness before, when the guy jumped in front of him to take a hit from the spider kid, and he can't help but feel a small surge of warmth. The more glimpses he sees of Bucky coming into himself, the more he likes this stupid guy, damn it.
He stops trying to actually hold a mental conversation with Bucky, instead letting sensations trickle through - fingers laced together and the squeeze of a hand, the steady beat of a heart and slow, deep breaths. He passes on the information he's learned that way, the knowledge that Bellamy is with a friend and one of his broodmates and another member of the Nest are moving in to retrieve them while the others run the mission.
Sam's so caught up in mental communication that it surprises him when he feels Bucky's presence getting closer, and he pulls himself out of his head - and other people's - in time to see Bucky charging on into his room.
He raises his eyebrows, but goes along with it, seeing as Bucky'd humored him before, and clasps Bucky's hand in his.
And then his expression lights up a little as he feels the metal in Bucky's palm. ]
You got this for me?
It’s... unexpected, how concerned Bucky is about leaving Bellamy behind, and yet somehow not at that same time. Sam's been the recipient of Bucky's brand of protectiveness before, when the guy jumped in front of him to take a hit from the spider kid, and he can't help but feel a small surge of warmth. The more glimpses he sees of Bucky coming into himself, the more he likes this stupid guy, damn it.
He stops trying to actually hold a mental conversation with Bucky, instead letting sensations trickle through - fingers laced together and the squeeze of a hand, the steady beat of a heart and slow, deep breaths. He passes on the information he's learned that way, the knowledge that Bellamy is with a friend and one of his broodmates and another member of the Nest are moving in to retrieve them while the others run the mission.
Sam's so caught up in mental communication that it surprises him when he feels Bucky's presence getting closer, and he pulls himself out of his head - and other people's - in time to see Bucky charging on into his room.
He raises his eyebrows, but goes along with it, seeing as Bucky'd humored him before, and clasps Bucky's hand in his.
And then his expression lights up a little as he feels the metal in Bucky's palm. ]
You got this for me?
Yeah. Steve and me did. [Bucky does his best to shy away from the warmth already emanating from Sam; there'd been some hiccups in the process of getting the coin. The important part is that he's gotten it to its rightful owner. No need to have feelings or engage in an exhaustive discourse about friendship. (Or how Bucky feels more and more like he's not the Bucky Steve wants or expects.)
Nope. Just exchanging the coin and leaving.
The coin itself has an emblem of an eagle with wings spread wide imposed over a sunburst on one side. On the other, there is some rough-hewn letters etched into the side, mostly unreadable, as if someone took a tool to its surface. Included in the defacement is a word: wings.]
Nope. Just exchanging the coin and leaving.
The coin itself has an emblem of an eagle with wings spread wide imposed over a sunburst on one side. On the other, there is some rough-hewn letters etched into the side, mostly unreadable, as if someone took a tool to its surface. Included in the defacement is a word: wings.]
[ There's about to be a whole lot more warmth, sorry Bucky. But this is different than the warmth of companionship that he usually puts out to help keep Bucky anchored, even when it's tinged with amusement or semi-reluctant fondness. This is softer, more tentative, with an edge of confusion like Sam doesn't exactly know what to do with this.
He pulls his walls back up a little to keep more of it from spilling out, both because he could feel Bucky trying to shy away from it and because, well. He doesn't exactly know what to do with this. It's been a while since someone went to this kind of effort for him, and he can't help but run his thumb over the scratched words. ]
Look, Bucky, if you ever want to talk, about anything - or hell, not talk, I'm-
[ Here, he means to say, but he doesn't really know where he was going with that, and they don't have time for him to figure it out, so instead he just curls his fingers around the coin. ] Thanks. [ He clears his throat, ducking his head briefly before looking back up. ] I'll touch base with you while we're out there, all right? We don't exactly got comms but I'm kind of in the habit.
He pulls his walls back up a little to keep more of it from spilling out, both because he could feel Bucky trying to shy away from it and because, well. He doesn't exactly know what to do with this. It's been a while since someone went to this kind of effort for him, and he can't help but run his thumb over the scratched words. ]
Look, Bucky, if you ever want to talk, about anything - or hell, not talk, I'm-
[ Here, he means to say, but he doesn't really know where he was going with that, and they don't have time for him to figure it out, so instead he just curls his fingers around the coin. ] Thanks. [ He clears his throat, ducking his head briefly before looking back up. ] I'll touch base with you while we're out there, all right? We don't exactly got comms but I'm kind of in the habit.
[When that tentative, soft warmth unfurls from Sam's side of the link, Bucky finds himself unable to entirely comprehend it. There's some comfort in knowing he's not alone in his confusion, but he works to deflect the focus from himself. He's never been a skilled orator, but since HYDRA, he's even more out of practice. And he finds himself losing his words in his head.
Instead, he nods, glancing away, so intensely uncomfortable with all of this. The itch to run surges in his veins, but he swallows it down. Not the time.
Bucky himself needs to get back to suiting up before he heads out with the main crew to the memory banks.]
Yeah. Copy that.
Instead, he nods, glancing away, so intensely uncomfortable with all of this. The itch to run surges in his veins, but he swallows it down. Not the time.
Bucky himself needs to get back to suiting up before he heads out with the main crew to the memory banks.]
Yeah. Copy that.
[Bucky raises an eyebrow at Sam. Last he knew, pararescue was still Army, but it's been a while since he was Army. Still, this feels good, more comfortable than the overwhelming radiance of Sam's warmth of a few minutes ago. This is infinitely more familiar, too; Steve and he had memories like this from back in New York. He hopes there will be more, but quiets the blossoming emotion in his chest. None of that, now.]
You mean out of anyone in the Air Force?
You mean out of anyone in the Air Force?
[ Feelings are good for you, Bucky. Just go with it, let yourself enjoy them.
Except no, this time Sam's actually really good with just not talking about this. At least not right now, not until he can get a better handle on this new facet of his and Bucky's relationship, so they won't just echo confusion back and forth across their mental link.
He tucks the coin into one of the pockets of his uniform, reaching out to lightly bump his knuckles against Bucky's good shoulder. It's not good luck, not really, but it's a parting sentiment anyway. ]
See you after.
Except no, this time Sam's actually really good with just not talking about this. At least not right now, not until he can get a better handle on this new facet of his and Bucky's relationship, so they won't just echo confusion back and forth across their mental link.
He tucks the coin into one of the pockets of his uniform, reaching out to lightly bump his knuckles against Bucky's good shoulder. It's not good luck, not really, but it's a parting sentiment anyway. ]
See you after.
[Nope, feelings are the worst and Bucky's not in any mood to feel them with a mission on the horizon. Still, he lingers at the door after the bump, words tangled on his tongue. Between them, the link resonates and Bucky figures there's nothing he needs to say, but he's still learning how to say what he wants instead of parsing responses to the necessaries.
The sense of parting and a strange finality leaves more unease bubbling in Bucky's chest.]
Yeah. [He's not usually one to waste words, but here he is substituting one for any other number of meaningful responses.
Time to go.]
The sense of parting and a strange finality leaves more unease bubbling in Bucky's chest.]
Yeah. [He's not usually one to waste words, but here he is substituting one for any other number of meaningful responses.
Time to go.]
[ Sometime after this...
A brush along the line, then: ]
( Can we talk? )
[ There's a distance to his mental tone, locked up tighter than normal. ]
A brush along the line, then: ]
( Can we talk? )
[ There's a distance to his mental tone, locked up tighter than normal. ]
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