[As Sam shifts his hand, Bucky's discomfort skyrockets. A hundred different fragments of memories of someone standing over him, wrenching him by his jaw or holding him by it to keep him in the present while pain sears him from another source. At first, he can't look past those bursts of images, faces, or the fear that slices through logic.
But then Sam scratches at his chin and Bucky blinks. Something about the sensation brings him to the present, draws him away from the thoughts of it's happening again, I can't go back, I won't go back. Like on the Waypoint, when Sam has introduced contact associated with bad memories, he has brought a new element to it. Just one small thing seems to change Bucky's view on the hold, allows him to look into all the differences between then and now.
Sam isn't standing above him. Sam isn't forcing him to be present for pain.
Then Sam says his name and Bucky can't help but smile a little despite the bundle of nerves dancing in his chest. This is different. Sam uses his name, doesn't call him Soldier or Weapon or see him as anything less. Sam loves him.
This isn't HYDRA. This is Sam and Bucky, trying something new, and the radical shift in thinking partially blows Bucky's mind. Goddamn he loves Sam Wilson.]
no subject
But then Sam scratches at his chin and Bucky blinks. Something about the sensation brings him to the present, draws him away from the thoughts of it's happening again, I can't go back, I won't go back. Like on the Waypoint, when Sam has introduced contact associated with bad memories, he has brought a new element to it. Just one small thing seems to change Bucky's view on the hold, allows him to look into all the differences between then and now.
Sam isn't standing above him. Sam isn't forcing him to be present for pain.
Then Sam says his name and Bucky can't help but smile a little despite the bundle of nerves dancing in his chest. This is different. Sam uses his name, doesn't call him Soldier or Weapon or see him as anything less. Sam loves him.
This isn't HYDRA. This is Sam and Bucky, trying something new, and the radical shift in thinking partially blows Bucky's mind. Goddamn he loves Sam Wilson.]
Yeah.