[ It's a big deal to Sam, but all right, yeah, he gets not wanting to make an ordeal over something that's meant to be a little gesture.
Sometimes the little gestures mean more than anything. Or at least, they do for Sam. He is... consistently surprised, when people make an effort for him, and he spends a moment to remind himself how grateful he is to have his friends in his life.
To have Bucky in his life.
His fingers linger against Bucky's as he takes the sprig, ducking his head even as his smile grows a little at that amusement he can feel coming from Bucky. ]
Doesn't happen all that often, huh? [ Him being speechless, he means, so Bucky better enjoy it. Thanks, sunshine. You, uh. You're better at this than you think.
Didn't know if they still did flowers for this stuff. [Bucky enjoys the lingering touch, the way Sam's fingers warm his own, but still looks away after a long moment, as the eye contact grows uncomfortable. He'd wanted to give Sam something after the shave, but didn't know what. Unfortunately, Lavellan's passing reminded Bucky of flowers placed on graves and also given to those left behind.]
[ Sam swallows, running his thumb over the fern and focusing on the feel of his texture under his skin. ]
Yeah. Still do. Flowers are kind of an all occasion thing, I guess. [ He hesitates, pulling in a breath and letting it out, trying to think without letting himself get too deep in his own head. ] I haven't done this since - I might not be all that great company for a few days. If all this starts being too much for you, you can tell me.
[ Being with Bucky makes it easier, but he doesn't want Bucky to feel like he has to stick around if what's going on in Sam's head starts being overwhelming. ]
[Well, it's not entirely because of the death. He'd wanted to woo Sam in some small way and he remembered flowers. Bucky carefully reaches for Sam's hand, aiming to thread his fingers with his broodmates.]
Okay. [He doesn't mind. He just wants to help Sam in some small way.] Let me know if I can help?
[ It's definitely working, man, Bucky can consider Sam a little bit more wooed. Sam's mind is a little steadier, a little brighter, and he doesn't bother to try to keep the affection from curling out to wrap around Bucky's mind.
He smiles when Bucky threads their fingers together. ]
You do. You are, I mean. [ He squeezes Bucky's hand, tugging lightly without really pulling him anywhere. ] You up for a hug?
[Bucky echoes Sam's smile back at him now, welcoming the thrumming of affection and the broodlink alike. He'll happily accept a hug right now, especially if it'll help Sam.
He's already curving his arms to pull Sam into a hug as he replies,] Yeah.
[ Some of the tension eases out of him as he melts into Bucky, arms wrapped around him and focusing on the warmth pressed against him.
On reminding himself that Bucky's here, that he's alive and with him. They can't know what the future's gonna hold, but right now - right now Sam can just let himself be. ]
Love you, Buck. [ It's a murmur into Bucky's hair, as his eyes slip shut and he just breathes. He is - overwhelmingly grateful to Bucky, for giving him this moment. ]
[Curling around Sam seems to almost always feel right. Despite whatever doubts he might harbor about what he does and doesn't deserve, right now he needs to be here for Sam. That's right. He's here, he's alive, he's not going anywhere, he's going to stay right here by Sam's side as long as he needs to be.
When Sam speaks those words aloud, Bucky doesn't know how to respond. Should he respond? Is a response expected? Maybe Sam knows Bucky isn't ready for something like that, that no word spent from Bucky is unnecessary.]
I know. [He replies, going with his gut, with what his instincts tell him. It's not a direct affirmation, but an acknowledgment. If he dies tonight, he will die knowing Sam loves him. But that isn't going to happen. He's going to park himself next to Sam if he can help it.]
[ Sam huffs out a laugh, the connection between them sparking bright with amusement, for a moment sharpening from the dull detached cloud that he’s been in to avoid having to process his grief. It’s not quite that he comes to life - but it is, a little, glimmers of sun sweeping back in through the fog. ]
I can’t believe you just Han Solo’d me, man. And you probably don’t even know who that is, so I know that’s just you. I’ll tell you now, though, if we do matching costumes I ain’t wearing a gold bikini. [ His fingers slip through Bucky’s hair, petting just a little bit before he tangles them deeper to scratch over Bucky’s scalp, trying to make eye contact. ] Next time you wonder if you ever help, I want you to think of right now.
[Before Bucky can even comment- before he can ask who or what a Han Solo is- Sam is there to provide even more non sequitors. Why would Sam wear a gold bikini? Wouldn't that attract enemies and leave Sam's very vital organs exposed for anyone to attack?
Well, regardless of that, Bucky curls a protective arm about Sam's side, though he's not entirely sure why. Maybe to protect said vital organs. He glances up at Sam's continued response, though, about helping and another bloom joins those scattered through Bucky's metal landscape. Yeah, maybe he is helping. Maybe. ]
[ There's gleaming flares of amusement when he can feel Bucky's puzzlement, soft and fond, that deepen into a contentment that's a little more focused when he slides an arm around him.
It's pretty clear that Sam likes the physical contact, though he doesn't comment on it. ]
(There's so much that I'm looking forward to sharing with you.) [ The music stored on his phone back at the station, the stories of all the good movies and books Bucky missed, a hundred or so meals to figure out what he likes, a thousand soft touches to figure things out on both sides - and Sam's more grateful than ever to Bucky for giving him this, a moment of things to look forward to instead of spiraling down into the past and having to drag himself back out.
He gives a pleased hum as another bloom crops up. ] (Got a surprise for you back on the Station. I mean - nothing big, kind of got it as a joke, but I think you might like it.)
[Bucky blinks for a moment at Sam. He's never known anyone who wanted to share things with him willingly, much less want to do so. Over the link, the enthusiasm reinforces Sam's words and Bucky finds himself a touch overwhelmed. However, he remembers the trees in his mind, the deep, rich forest that he never knew about until Sam. Maybe that's what Sam means, to open up his mind more, show him that he's more than what HYDRA made him.
The remark of a gift earns raised eyebrows. A joke gift?] (Okay.) [Questioning, ware, unsure.]
[ Something like that, yeah. Well - yes, exactly that, Sam wants to show Bucky that he's so much more than what HYDRA made him. But along with that, he wants to be the one there to share all these new experiences with Bucky and he wants Bucky there to share in his and it's -
Well. Probably a little too much for right now, so he doesn't go any further with that. ]
(I got you flowers too, kind of.) [ There's a undercurrent to his words across the mental link, an offer to explain what it is if Bucky's uncomfortable - he gets the uncertainty making Bucky wary. ]
[Something isn't quite clicking for Bucky. He tries to process why Sam would give him a gift, despite Sam having done so in the past. His thoughts brush up against that belief that he doesn't deserve gifts, but he shakes the loose grip of the programming away. With Sam here, with their broodlink humming strong and their fingers tangled together, they can challenge the weaker protests of the programming.]
(For me?) [He's still not entirely sure of the proposition, but he's listening.]
(Yeah.) [ Normally he'd brush it off, say it's not a big deal or anything - but he finds himself wanting to explain. To try to help Bucky understand why Sam would want to give him something. ]
(I don't know, I like making you happy. I like introducing you to new things, seeing what you like.) [ There's a pause, then he bumps Bucky's knee playfully with his own. ] (Plus it'll make you smell good, and that can't hurt.)
[Wow rude Sam. First you make him feel feelings and then tell him he stinks. That is, Bucky doesn't quite accept the first half of Sam's response, or the way it makes him warm deep in his chest. However, the second half he's much more accustomed to hearing. A grin breaks across his face as he nudges Sam right back.]
[ Sam laughs, head tilted back and eyes crinkling, even as his veins pulse with the small thrill he always gets from seeing Bucky smile. He knows the first part of that is hard for Bucky to accept, that it's still gonna be a while before he knows how to react to that warmth - but he's more than happy to switch gears to their usual kind of banter. ]
(I gotta call it like I see it, you know me. Or smell it, in this case.)
[Bucky chuckles, shaking his head. This is nice. Despite wanting to leave Sam flowers anonymously, he's glad he got caught, if just so they could have this moment right here. There haven't been enough of them on this mission.]
(Guess I'll have to use these flowers I gave you to spruce myself up.)
[ So is Sam. This is the kind of thing he lives for, on missions like this - the reminder that things are good, that they can be happy.
Sam manages to resist the urge to childishly stick out his tongue, but it's a close call. Of course, the intention's probably clear through their connection anyway as he holds the flowers close. ]
(Oh hell no, these flowers are very important to me. We'll get you more.)
[Wow. Rude. Bucky laughs, but underneath that, he's touched that Sam considers such a small gift of flowers important. He supposes his effort to cheer Sam has succeeded if his broodmate is tempted to stick his tongue out at him. With a nudge of Sam's shoulder, Bucky's grin sobers, softens as he watches Sam.]
(Most of them are a couple hours walk.)
[Looks like they might have to spend some more away from the rest of the Nest.]
[ It's absolutely succeeded, and despite everything going on, Sam can't quite seem to get the soft smile off of his face. Especially not when Bucky laughs, because no matter what, Sam's always going to count getting Bucky to laugh as a win. ]
(Couple hours of alone time with you? Yeah, that sounds just awful, I don't know how I'll manage.)
[ He doesn't even bother to hide the sarcasm there - that sounds like a great idea to him, and Sam nudges Bucky's shoulder back. ]
(Guess I better make you a flower crown and get something out of it.)
[Once more, Bucky finds himself laughing and Sam's soft affection reflecting back at him brings a similar warmth bubbling through Bucky. He wanted this for most of the mission, for most of his life: to have someone to laugh with and be comfortable with. Sam has told him he loves him and Bucky feels the same way but give life to those feelings requires more than he can give. The programming won't let him express it out loud, his training won't let him, and it takes a vulnerability he still can't quite muster.
Bucky curls his arm around Sam, positively beaming. He doesn't know what a flower crown is, but any gift from Sam is something to cherish.]
(Yeah. Don't want to waste time.) [He says as he leans in toward Sam in an effort to kiss him.]
[ It doesn't matter that Bucky can't say it out loud yet; this is worth just as much. Seeing Bucky laugh, feeling him be happy, knowing that Sam was the cause of that? Sam doesn't really have the words to say how much that means to him, either.
So instead he leans into the arm Bucky curls around him, tangling his fingers absently in the fabric of Bucky's disguise, and helpfully supplying his mental image of Bucky with a flower crown - the birds are very important here okay. ]
(It's never a waste of time when I'm with you.) [ Yeah, he knows exactly how cheesy that was, but his grin doesn't fade until he leans in to let Bucky kiss him, kissing him back slow and easy, like they got all the time in the world. ]
[Bucky's about to say that it was Sam who suggested they make a flower crown, but then Sam crosses the rest of the distance between them. In his mind, they do have all the time in the world, but the truth is that he's been away from his guard post for too long. It wouldn't do to have guards disappearing into diplomats' tents for extended periods of time. Slow and easy is so nice, so them, even as Bucky returns the kiss with an intensity unbefitting the situation.
His fingers curl tighter in Sam's disguise, pulling his broodmate closer.
He always wants more from Sam, perhaps too much more.]
[ Sam doesn’t give a shit about Bucky having to be at his guard post, honestly, or about the other envoys might think about a guard disappearing into his diplomat’s quarters. He’s pretty sure he’s already got that reputation, with how close he is with his “guards.”
If it gives him an excuse to stay sequestered away with Bucky for a little bit longer, he’s gonna take it.
When Bucky ramps up the intensity, Sam responds in kind, letting Bucky pull him in and moving as close as he can get, fingers pressed into Bucky’s back. He shifts a little, tugging Bucky in even closer, even if it basically means trying to coax Bucky into his lap.
As far as he’s concerned, there’s no damn thing as too much, not with Bucky. ]
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sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
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Sometimes the little gestures mean more than anything. Or at least, they do for Sam. He is... consistently surprised, when people make an effort for him, and he spends a moment to remind himself how grateful he is to have his friends in his life.
To have Bucky in his life.
His fingers linger against Bucky's as he takes the sprig, ducking his head even as his smile grows a little at that amusement he can feel coming from Bucky. ]
Doesn't happen all that often, huh? [ Him being speechless, he means, so Bucky better enjoy it. Thanks, sunshine. You, uh. You're better at this than you think.
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Yeah. Still do. Flowers are kind of an all occasion thing, I guess. [ He hesitates, pulling in a breath and letting it out, trying to think without letting himself get too deep in his own head. ] I haven't done this since - I might not be all that great company for a few days. If all this starts being too much for you, you can tell me.
[ Being with Bucky makes it easier, but he doesn't want Bucky to feel like he has to stick around if what's going on in Sam's head starts being overwhelming. ]
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Okay. [He doesn't mind. He just wants to help Sam in some small way.] Let me know if I can help?
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He smiles when Bucky threads their fingers together. ]
You do. You are, I mean. [ He squeezes Bucky's hand, tugging lightly without really pulling him anywhere. ] You up for a hug?
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He's already curving his arms to pull Sam into a hug as he replies,] Yeah.
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On reminding himself that Bucky's here, that he's alive and with him. They can't know what the future's gonna hold, but right now - right now Sam can just let himself be. ]
Love you, Buck. [ It's a murmur into Bucky's hair, as his eyes slip shut and he just breathes. He is - overwhelmingly grateful to Bucky, for giving him this moment. ]
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When Sam speaks those words aloud, Bucky doesn't know how to respond. Should he respond? Is a response expected? Maybe Sam knows Bucky isn't ready for something like that, that no word spent from Bucky is unnecessary.]
I know. [He replies, going with his gut, with what his instincts tell him. It's not a direct affirmation, but an acknowledgment. If he dies tonight, he will die knowing Sam loves him. But that isn't going to happen. He's going to park himself next to Sam if he can help it.]
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I can’t believe you just Han Solo’d me, man. And you probably don’t even know who that is, so I know that’s just you. I’ll tell you now, though, if we do matching costumes I ain’t wearing a gold bikini. [ His fingers slip through Bucky’s hair, petting just a little bit before he tangles them deeper to scratch over Bucky’s scalp, trying to make eye contact. ] Next time you wonder if you ever help, I want you to think of right now.
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Well, regardless of that, Bucky curls a protective arm about Sam's side, though he's not entirely sure why. Maybe to protect said vital organs. He glances up at Sam's continued response, though, about helping and another bloom joins those scattered through Bucky's metal landscape. Yeah, maybe he is helping. Maybe. ]
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It's pretty clear that Sam likes the physical contact, though he doesn't comment on it. ]
( There's so much that I'm looking forward to sharing with you. ) [ The music stored on his phone back at the station, the stories of all the good movies and books Bucky missed, a hundred or so meals to figure out what he likes, a thousand soft touches to figure things out on both sides - and Sam's more grateful than ever to Bucky for giving him this, a moment of things to look forward to instead of spiraling down into the past and having to drag himself back out.
He gives a pleased hum as another bloom crops up. ] ( Got a surprise for you back on the Station. I mean - nothing big, kind of got it as a joke, but I think you might like it. )
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The remark of a gift earns raised eyebrows. A joke gift?] ( Okay. ) [Questioning, ware, unsure.]
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Well. Probably a little too much for right now, so he doesn't go any further with that. ]
( I got you flowers too, kind of. ) [ There's a undercurrent to his words across the mental link, an offer to explain what it is if Bucky's uncomfortable - he gets the uncertainty making Bucky wary. ]
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( For me? ) [He's still not entirely sure of the proposition, but he's listening.]
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( I don't know, I like making you happy. I like introducing you to new things, seeing what you like. ) [ There's a pause, then he bumps Bucky's knee playfully with his own. ] ( Plus it'll make you smell good, and that can't hurt. )
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( You saying I stink? )
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( I gotta call it like I see it, you know me. Or smell it, in this case. )
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( Guess I'll have to use these flowers I gave you to spruce myself up. )
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Sam manages to resist the urge to childishly stick out his tongue, but it's a close call. Of course, the intention's probably clear through their connection anyway as he holds the flowers close. ]
( Oh hell no, these flowers are very important to me. We'll get you more. )
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( Most of them are a couple hours walk. )
[Looks like they might have to spend some more away from the rest of the Nest.]
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( Couple hours of alone time with you? Yeah, that sounds just awful, I don't know how I'll manage. )
[ He doesn't even bother to hide the sarcasm there - that sounds like a great idea to him, and Sam nudges Bucky's shoulder back. ]
( Guess I better make you a flower crown and get something out of it. )
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Bucky curls his arm around Sam, positively beaming. He doesn't know what a flower crown is, but any gift from Sam is something to cherish.]
( Yeah. Don't want to waste time. ) [He says as he leans in toward Sam in an effort to kiss him.]
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So instead he leans into the arm Bucky curls around him, tangling his fingers absently in the fabric of Bucky's disguise, and helpfully supplying his mental image of Bucky with a flower crown - the birds are very important here okay. ]
( It's never a waste of time when I'm with you. ) [ Yeah, he knows exactly how cheesy that was, but his grin doesn't fade until he leans in to let Bucky kiss him, kissing him back slow and easy, like they got all the time in the world. ]
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His fingers curl tighter in Sam's disguise, pulling his broodmate closer.
He always wants more from Sam, perhaps too much more.]
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If it gives him an excuse to stay sequestered away with Bucky for a little bit longer, he’s gonna take it.
When Bucky ramps up the intensity, Sam responds in kind, letting Bucky pull him in and moving as close as he can get, fingers pressed into Bucky’s back. He shifts a little, tugging Bucky in even closer, even if it basically means trying to coax Bucky into his lap.
As far as he’s concerned, there’s no damn thing as too much, not with Bucky. ]