No off switch? [ That's got to be kind of rough with this group. His head cants to one side, holding the bottle between both hands now. ] Could be that it works a bit like the brain stuff.
[ Always connected, and you need to consciously shield yourself to keep from bleeding into the people near you. ]
[ Sam considers that, tilting his head a little to eye his hands speculatively. ] Could be. Nothing I use to block out all the brain stuff's worked so far, but I think I need to get a feel for how it works before I can figure out how to shield it, you know? How'd you get yours sorted out?
[ As soon as it's out of his mouth, though, Sam makes a little face at himself. ]
[ He opens his mouth to answer that question, then closes it again, giving a half shake of his head and a shrug. ]
I came to talk, so - [ You can't say this isn't talking. And it doesn't bother him - doesn't feel like either of them are trying to tactfully (or otherwise) avoid the original topic, the conversation just shifted naturally on its own. Turns out they've got a similar sense of humor.
He lets his gaze travel to the city skyline over the railing, a faint crease forming again at his brow. Before Steve had said that he wanted to take it from the top, the start of the story - ] What would you be doing right now if the Nest hadn't picked you up?
Now that's where you went wrong, man, I could talk at you all day if you let me.
[ Sam still isn't trying to avoid any subject, it's just - well, he could. Sam rarely has trouble talking with anyone, but things are easy with Steve. There's something about that knowledge that makes his chest untwist a little. It's still awkward, sure, but it's - it's stupid, but talking to Steve feels good.
He lets out a breath when Steve asks that, quiet for a moment, but he doesn't consider saying anything but the truth. ]
I don't know. Things were a little... chaotic, we hadn't really had a chance to sit down and figure anything out before I got picked up. So I guess that, trying to protect everyone and figure out where we were gonna go from there.
[ Another light huff before he sobers again, glancing over at Sam to study his features for a second before looking away again, frown returning. ]
Sounds like you all got put in a tough spot. [ Steve holds some responsibility whether or not he's technically the one that led them into whatever mess they'd escaped from, but his expression reads more pensive than guilty. Blaming himself right off the bat for something that the rest of them went through isn't going to make anyone more willing to talk to him. His gaze drops to the bottle between his hands, thumbnail picking at the label. ]
From the way you were talking to Buck back at that hole we were living in - I kinda figured you'd been with him longer. [ From the way Sam handled the situation it seemed like he knew what he was doing, knew what to say to get Bucky to calm down. Maybe some of that had to do with the broodmate deal, but more likely Steve thinks that what he mistook for Sam's knowledge of Bucky's problems through a longer history with his friend was more a natural strength of Sam's, or earned through some other experience. ]
I signed up for it. Our country - there's a lot of stuff it does really right, and a lot of stuff it does really wrong. Sometimes the people in charge and I disagree on what falls into what category.
[ It's soft but matter-of-fact, and his expression is more pensive than anything else as well. There's a part of him that's angry about the way the Accords went down, about the kind of people they gave authority over it, about the Raft's existence and the way its prisoners were treated, about a hundred or so other things. But he wouldn't have served in the Air Force, worked at the VA, or become the Falcon if he didn't believe in fighting for change, for what was right.
It's a complicated jumble of emotions, really, and he does his best to keep it from trickling through as he takes another drink from the bottle.
Barnes is easier, even if he definitely causes complicated emotions in a different way, enough that Sam gives a little chuckle. ]
I first ran into him over two years ago, been looking for him on and off since, but nah, I haven't known him that long. But he's a soldier, and so am I. I worked at the VA for a few years - the Department of Veterans Affairs, I think it was still the Veterans Administration in your day. I did peer support, ran some support groups.
[ One side of his mouth quirks upward, chin ducking down as he tips his head to one side. If it wasn't already obvious to Steve by now why they get along so well - ]
So you stand your ground.
[ On a much bigger scale than chumps getting disrespectful at the pictures. There's a lot to admire in a guy like Sam.
When the topic changes to Bucky and services, Steve nods. ] My father served - guess you already knew that.
[ It was his mother that dealt with the VA when she was alive. Steve's known plenty of vets from the Great War, but support of any kind wasn't something folks liked talking about unless they'd had one too many drinks in them. ]
Chasing after Bucky and superheroing must've become a full time job.
[ Sam doesn't have to ask to figure that Steve knows a little something about standing your ground - hell, even if he didn't know already, he'd guess just based on that response. He shoots him a smile, tilting his head in understanding. ]
If you don't, who else will?
[ Maybe a lot of people, really, but Sam's never been the kind of guy to sit back and do nothing. There's always been something to fight for, one way or another, whether the battlefield was the streets in Harlem or the skies in Afghanistan or his own mind and the minds other veterans - or the whole damn world, after joining the Avengers. Sometimes he thinks it should make him exhausted, and some days it does, but mostly he's made peace with that. ]
Don't know much about it, but yeah, I remember that. Things are different back where I'm from, but not as much as they should be. [ He lets out an exhale, quirking a slightly wry smile. ] I kept up working at the VA for a while, just chasing leads on Barnes, but eventually, yeah. I still go to groups, do guest speaking some times. Or I did, anyway.
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sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
no subject
[ Always connected, and you need to consciously shield yourself to keep from bleeding into the people near you. ]
no subject
[ As soon as it's out of his mouth, though, Sam makes a little face at himself. ]
Which isn't what you came up here to talk about.
no subject
I came to talk, so - [ You can't say this isn't talking. And it doesn't bother him - doesn't feel like either of them are trying to tactfully (or otherwise) avoid the original topic, the conversation just shifted naturally on its own. Turns out they've got a similar sense of humor.
He lets his gaze travel to the city skyline over the railing, a faint crease forming again at his brow. Before Steve had said that he wanted to take it from the top, the start of the story - ] What would you be doing right now if the Nest hadn't picked you up?
no subject
[ Sam still isn't trying to avoid any subject, it's just - well, he could. Sam rarely has trouble talking with anyone, but things are easy with Steve. There's something about that knowledge that makes his chest untwist a little. It's still awkward, sure, but it's - it's stupid, but talking to Steve feels good.
He lets out a breath when Steve asks that, quiet for a moment, but he doesn't consider saying anything but the truth. ]
I don't know. Things were a little... chaotic, we hadn't really had a chance to sit down and figure anything out before I got picked up. So I guess that, trying to protect everyone and figure out where we were gonna go from there.
no subject
Sounds like you all got put in a tough spot. [ Steve holds some responsibility whether or not he's technically the one that led them into whatever mess they'd escaped from, but his expression reads more pensive than guilty. Blaming himself right off the bat for something that the rest of them went through isn't going to make anyone more willing to talk to him. His gaze drops to the bottle between his hands, thumbnail picking at the label. ]
From the way you were talking to Buck back at that hole we were living in - I kinda figured you'd been with him longer. [ From the way Sam handled the situation it seemed like he knew what he was doing, knew what to say to get Bucky to calm down. Maybe some of that had to do with the broodmate deal, but more likely Steve thinks that what he mistook for Sam's knowledge of Bucky's problems through a longer history with his friend was more a natural strength of Sam's, or earned through some other experience. ]
no subject
[ It's soft but matter-of-fact, and his expression is more pensive than anything else as well. There's a part of him that's angry about the way the Accords went down, about the kind of people they gave authority over it, about the Raft's existence and the way its prisoners were treated, about a hundred or so other things. But he wouldn't have served in the Air Force, worked at the VA, or become the Falcon if he didn't believe in fighting for change, for what was right.
It's a complicated jumble of emotions, really, and he does his best to keep it from trickling through as he takes another drink from the bottle.
Barnes is easier, even if he definitely causes complicated emotions in a different way, enough that Sam gives a little chuckle. ]
I first ran into him over two years ago, been looking for him on and off since, but nah, I haven't known him that long. But he's a soldier, and so am I. I worked at the VA for a few years - the Department of Veterans Affairs, I think it was still the Veterans Administration in your day. I did peer support, ran some support groups.
no subject
So you stand your ground.
[ On a much bigger scale than chumps getting disrespectful at the pictures. There's a lot to admire in a guy like Sam.
When the topic changes to Bucky and services, Steve nods. ] My father served - guess you already knew that.
[ It was his mother that dealt with the VA when she was alive. Steve's known plenty of vets from the Great War, but support of any kind wasn't something folks liked talking about unless they'd had one too many drinks in them. ]
Chasing after Bucky and superheroing must've become a full time job.
no subject
If you don't, who else will?
[ Maybe a lot of people, really, but Sam's never been the kind of guy to sit back and do nothing. There's always been something to fight for, one way or another, whether the battlefield was the streets in Harlem or the skies in Afghanistan or his own mind and the minds other veterans - or the whole damn world, after joining the Avengers. Sometimes he thinks it should make him exhausted, and some days it does, but mostly he's made peace with that. ]
Don't know much about it, but yeah, I remember that. Things are different back where I'm from, but not as much as they should be. [ He lets out an exhale, quirking a slightly wry smile. ] I kept up working at the VA for a while, just chasing leads on Barnes, but eventually, yeah. I still go to groups, do guest speaking some times. Or I did, anyway.