[ There's a faint note of surprise when he feels Cathway's presence in his mind. The sensation of a question rather than the actual words isn't as unsettling as it would have been before Sam developed his connection with some people enough to start using it himself, but it still is a little. Because it's Cathaway, and he doesn't know her as well as anyone else he's used wordless communication with. And because he'd thought they were too far out of range.
Most of his impression of her is formed from the minds of other people, from what he's picked up on their perceptions of her. But he's thought for a while that he should change that, so he actually answers that question instead of brushing it off. ]
(Well as can be expected when I only half know what I'm doing most of the time. Feels like I've had a headache since I first got here, though.)
[A flush of fever covered by a cool, damp cloth. A small stone plunking into a river. The interminable press of waiting in a zero gravity suit and vacuum helmet, feeling the hollowness of space all around while being slowly winched in toward an air lock--]
( Likely bleed from your brood or the younger hosts. It should eventually fade. How goes Waypoint Shell? )
[ He considers her response, the hint of feathers that flavor his mental link rustling thoughtfully. He'd thought he was shielded well enough to block out the younger hosts, but maybe he needs to work on that more. He'd know if it was his brood, he thinks, but then Katie's been working nonstop trying to get this place's tech to bend to her will, and Bucky's still just recovering from the latest surge of the programming. Maybe it is them, and he's in too deep to tell.
If anything, it's a relief that this isn't just a social call. She wants a sitrep, and he's much more comfortable with that - it's clear in the way something in him settles, the way there's an ease to his side of the connection as he switches over to focusing on the mission. ]
[They're like small hairs on the arm. Occasionally something might stir them enough for her to notice, but until then they are-- remote, and not just in the sense that the Station is far from the Waypoint. The shape of her mind is unnaturally distant for how to his mental awareness she lurks now, as if her connection with him here is a shadow of some larger creature in the dark.]
[ She is... unsettling, to say the least. Granted, the same could be said - and has been said - of some of his friends and teammates back home, but that's different. It's different when someone he doesn't quite trust with power he doesn't really understand is in his head.
Maybe he should try to understand it, he thinks sometimes, but he still isn't sure he really wants to. Or what'll happen if he does. ]
(There's a couple of different angles that I know of. Some people registered for the tournament, and we're getting them as much information on their competitors and on what the judges'll be looking for that we can. We found out where they're keeping the prize, and we're getting together a recon team to try to get intel on what kind of security we can expect anyone who wants to pull off a heist to run into.) [ There's a pause, and then his professional tone shifts, just a little. ] (Do you know what we're looking for?)
[If she sense his...discomfort..., it doesn't seem to penetrate deep enough in her thoughts for him to recognize. His ease is as irrelevant as the color of the sky in her home universe.]
( Somewhat. We know that it's an object or material that will somehow assist us in the future. But we don't know the exact shape or state it's in. We received a... transmission or memory or something in between that it was here and might be valuable to our purposes. )
[It's all a little fuzzy - shapes moving in the darkness in the periphery of her vision. Or his vision? Or--]
( But good. We're glad you're diversifying the approach. If you need resources, you have but to ask. ) [Something shifts. An eye turns.] ( --And you, Sam? How are you? )
[ A while back he might have been skeptical about that answer, might have wondered how something could be between memory and transmission, at its vagueness and specificity. But that was before he saw the warning from the Prothean beacon in Shepard's mind, before the knowledge of the cipher was transferred to his.
Now, the only thing he's skeptical about is what she means by our purposes.
He feels that shift in focus, and for a long moment he's silent. It's less that he isn't sure of the answer to that question, and more that he isn't sure how he wants to answer it when she's the one who's asking it. ]
(I'm alive. And so is everyone here, thanks to the Nest's intervention. Now if only more of 'em knew the difference between surviving and living.) [ Or cared about the difference, really, because that's what it seems to come down to. ] (When you say our purpose, do you mean fighting the Enemy or the Nest's survival? Or both?)
( What difference does it make? They amount to the same thing. )
[It's a shortsighted question, relating entirely to Station 72 and the creatures from it. It speaks to how low his vantage is, how narrow his perspective. But she can forgive him all of these things. Expecting anything else would be unfair of her.]
( Both, more or less. If the Enemy didn't want to eradicate the Nest, then maybe we would let them do what they like. But they do, so we don't. )
[There's a sensation, a low shifting one as a fish flashing between the ankles while wading through some gurgling river water. It's something like a shrug. Easy, unbothered. These are simple facts.]
[ They're not the same thing to Sam. Sam only cares about the survival of the Nest as much as he cares about the survival of people in general - which, admittedly, is a sizable amount on both days. Sometimes more, when he thinks about how a significant number of the people he cares about are members of the Nest, sometimes less, on his more paranoid days.
But her response is along the lines of what Sam's already figured, that the survival of the Nest is greater than any other priority. It's not something that's ever been kept a secret from them. ]
[If he were to say such things, she might suggest that it is a pointless division - a wish for something that isn't true. His people are of the Nest; there's no changing that.]
( Longer than we have been here. ) [That 'we' has weight and meaning. We, the creature beyond Cathaway's shape. We, the thing that sits within and beyond her small thin body.] ( A thousand years? It's difficult to parse. Our consciousness isn't exactly made to track the passage of time exactly when divided by the multiverse and the Station isn't meant to live in the void for so long. The discrepancies between the flow of time are strange. And how long did it take for our ancestors to realize they were fighting a united beast? The Enemy has a thousand faces. Maybe their war was happening before the old Hosts even knew it. )
[ That's the kind of we that unsettles the hell out of Sam, the kind he can feel. Ilde says she doesn't use 'we' because the other Hosts don't like it, but when she says it, it's nothing like this.
Still, he listens, open and curious. All of it is decent information, but his mind catches on what she says about the Station. Both because she says live and because he wonders - if it wasn't meant to live where it is for so long, what's happened to it now that it's had to? ]
[This is an easier, more particular line of inquiry.]
( Forever, we think. Though sometimes it demands to surface into the multiverse to...) [a murmuring, thoughtful pause; something shifts in the otherwise quiet like light glittering off a bed of riverstones] ( Reorient. Which is why it's here in this universe now instead of secreted away while you run your mission. )
[ Honestly, there's a million things that Sam wants to ask her, but he's trying to limit himself. He still doesn't know what to make of her, still doesn't completely trust her though he doesn't necessarily mistrust her, either.
And, well. It's rude to pepper someone with a million questions when they'd only checked in on how things were going. He stays with the way the conversation goes, narrowing his curiosity down to the Station. ]
(When you say it demands - you can talk to it? How?)
[ Well, that's something Sam can appreciate her at least. The fact that the ship they've all been living on is member of the Nest like them - except really, really not like them - is... well, it's just another what the hell in a long line of what the hell, really.
He doesn't bother to try to hide the fact that he's thinking about trying to communicate with it. It's probably obvious, giving his line of question, and he doesn't really see the point. ]
( The bridge is usually the easiest. There are other places, but we suspect that's the one you can locate easily. We doubt you'll be able to speak to it there though - not on your own. Your connection is very thin. )
[It isn't meant as discouragement. There's no textural judgement in the string of thoughts, underlined by lacing fingers together and the easy rhythmic breathing of beings in combination.]
( Maybe with your brood or with the help of other Hosts. )
[ Honestly, he doesn't think the fact that his connection to it is thin is a bad thing - except that it makes trying to talk to it more difficult, of course. But it means he's so far been reasonably successful at keeping himself distant, except for the connections he's chosen to widen.
He tries not to think about just how wide some of those are. ]
(I'm gonna guess it'll probably help more if it's people I've got a decent connection with. What about the places I can't locate easily?)
[ He'll try the bridge, of course, but that doesn't mean he won't try to look for those, too. ]
[Naturally he's correct - it's a safe enough assumption that she doesn't even bother with an answer beyond a general sensation of approval sliding along the link stretched thin between them. As for the rest?]
( It depends on the individual. There comes a certain point where the Station will begin to recognize a Host and accommodate them somehow. Sometimes those places can be used to... commune with it. ) [That's probably a more accurate phrasing for the experience.]
( But those spaces won't be accessible to you if it isn't aware of you. If you care to strengthen your bond with it, spend some time hooked into your compartment on the Nesting Deck. )
[ There's the briefest flash of distaste at that last suggestion. He doesn't like the idea of hooking himself into anything, let alone the pod on the Nesting Deck. He doesn't want to try to communicate with the Station that bad, not yet.
That's gonna be the problem, now - figuring out how communicate with it without getting himself in deeper than he wants to be. ]
(I appreciate you putting up with my questions. Was there anything else you were looking for?)
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
no subject
Most of his impression of her is formed from the minds of other people, from what he's picked up on their perceptions of her. But he's thought for a while that he should change that, so he actually answers that question instead of brushing it off. ]
( Well as can be expected when I only half know what I'm doing most of the time. Feels like I've had a headache since I first got here, though. )
no subject
( Likely bleed from your brood or the younger hosts. It should eventually fade. How goes Waypoint Shell? )
[Not strictly a social call, then.]
no subject
If anything, it's a relief that this isn't just a social call. She wants a sitrep, and he's much more comfortable with that - it's clear in the way something in him settles, the way there's an ease to his side of the connection as he switches over to focusing on the mission. ]
( How much have you been updated on? )
no subject
[They're like small hairs on the arm. Occasionally something might stir them enough for her to notice, but until then they are-- remote, and not just in the sense that the Station is far from the Waypoint. The shape of her mind is unnaturally distant for how to his mental awareness she lurks now, as if her connection with him here is a shadow of some larger creature in the dark.]
( But we would like it hear it in your words. )
[Metaphorically speaking, of course.]
no subject
Maybe he should try to understand it, he thinks sometimes, but he still isn't sure he really wants to. Or what'll happen if he does. ]
( There's a couple of different angles that I know of. Some people registered for the tournament, and we're getting them as much information on their competitors and on what the judges'll be looking for that we can. We found out where they're keeping the prize, and we're getting together a recon team to try to get intel on what kind of security we can expect anyone who wants to pull off a heist to run into. ) [ There's a pause, and then his professional tone shifts, just a little. ] ( Do you know what we're looking for? )
no subject
( Somewhat. We know that it's an object or material that will somehow assist us in the future. But we don't know the exact shape or state it's in. We received a... transmission or memory or something in between that it was here and might be valuable to our purposes. )
[It's all a little fuzzy - shapes moving in the darkness in the periphery of her vision. Or his vision? Or--]
( But good. We're glad you're diversifying the approach. If you need resources, you have but to ask. ) [Something shifts. An eye turns.] ( --And you, Sam? How are you? )
no subject
Now, the only thing he's skeptical about is what she means by our purposes.
He feels that shift in focus, and for a long moment he's silent. It's less that he isn't sure of the answer to that question, and more that he isn't sure how he wants to answer it when she's the one who's asking it. ]
( I'm alive. And so is everyone here, thanks to the Nest's intervention. Now if only more of 'em knew the difference between surviving and living. ) [ Or cared about the difference, really, because that's what it seems to come down to. ] ( When you say our purpose, do you mean fighting the Enemy or the Nest's survival? Or both? )
no subject
[It's a shortsighted question, relating entirely to Station 72 and the creatures from it. It speaks to how low his vantage is, how narrow his perspective. But she can forgive him all of these things. Expecting anything else would be unfair of her.]
( Both, more or less. If the Enemy didn't want to eradicate the Nest, then maybe we would let them do what they like. But they do, so we don't. )
[There's a sensation, a low shifting one as a fish flashing between the ankles while wading through some gurgling river water. It's something like a shrug. Easy, unbothered. These are simple facts.]
no subject
But her response is along the lines of what Sam's already figured, that the survival of the Nest is greater than any other priority. It's not something that's ever been kept a secret from them. ]
( How long has the Nest been fighting them? )
no subject
( Longer than we have been here. ) [That 'we' has weight and meaning. We, the creature beyond Cathaway's shape. We, the thing that sits within and beyond her small thin body.] ( A thousand years? It's difficult to parse. Our consciousness isn't exactly made to track the passage of time exactly when divided by the multiverse and the Station isn't meant to live in the void for so long. The discrepancies between the flow of time are strange. And how long did it take for our ancestors to realize they were fighting a united beast? The Enemy has a thousand faces. Maybe their war was happening before the old Hosts even knew it. )
no subject
Still, he listens, open and curious. All of it is decent information, but his mind catches on what she says about the Station. Both because she says live and because he wonders - if it wasn't meant to live where it is for so long, what's happened to it now that it's had to? ]
( How long can the Station live there? )
no subject
( Forever, we think. Though sometimes it demands to surface into the multiverse to...) [a murmuring, thoughtful pause; something shifts in the otherwise quiet like light glittering off a bed of riverstones] ( Reorient. Which is why it's here in this universe now instead of secreted away while you run your mission. )
no subject
And, well. It's rude to pepper someone with a million questions when they'd only checked in on how things were going. He stays with the way the conversation goes, narrowing his curiosity down to the Station. ]
( When you say it demands - you can talk to it? How? )
no subject
[No frills, no hesitation. It's simply a fact of nature.]
( It requires a strong connection and the string between us and it isn't like what exists between the two of us. The communication is more... )
[Instinctual. A sensation in the skin. A certainty in the air. It's a texture under the fingertips.]
( Of course there are places in the Station where it's easier to communicate with it. )
no subject
He doesn't bother to try to hide the fact that he's thinking about trying to communicate with it. It's probably obvious, giving his line of question, and he doesn't really see the point. ]
( Which places? )
no subject
( The bridge is usually the easiest. There are other places, but we suspect that's the one you can locate easily. We doubt you'll be able to speak to it there though - not on your own. Your connection is very thin. )
[It isn't meant as discouragement. There's no textural judgement in the string of thoughts, underlined by lacing fingers together and the easy rhythmic breathing of beings in combination.]
( Maybe with your brood or with the help of other Hosts. )
no subject
He tries not to think about just how wide some of those are. ]
( I'm gonna guess it'll probably help more if it's people I've got a decent connection with. What about the places I can't locate easily? )
[ He'll try the bridge, of course, but that doesn't mean he won't try to look for those, too. ]
no subject
( It depends on the individual. There comes a certain point where the Station will begin to recognize a Host and accommodate them somehow. Sometimes those places can be used to... commune with it. ) [That's probably a more accurate phrasing for the experience.]
( But those spaces won't be accessible to you if it isn't aware of you. If you care to strengthen your bond with it, spend some time hooked into your compartment on the Nesting Deck. )
no subject
That's gonna be the problem, now - figuring out how communicate with it without getting himself in deeper than he wants to be. ]
( I appreciate you putting up with my questions. Was there anything else you were looking for? )