Sam Wilson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
sizeofyourbaggage) wrote2016-05-22 03:26 pm
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❰ that sensation of bumping shoulders, of friendly solidarity, makes damon smile, and if it weren't the middle of the night, if he didn't know elena was probably still awake, if there wasn't the possibility of waking up anyone else, damon would go to sam's cot and sit with him there. the link is good for communication, for saying things damon can't find words for, but it's nothing compared to physical proximity, and he could use that with sam right now.
but it is the middle of the night, elena is still awake, and he could wake up other people. so damon stays where he is, a ball of confusion and affection with nowhere to put either.
You ruin all my fun. I wanted to threaten one of your boys, do you know how long it's been since I got to be properly threatening? Lakshmi doesn't count.
because reasons!!!
there's a long pause, the sensation of damon holding himself tightly in check because otherwise he would be squirming in uncomfortable confusion and... hope.
Elena kissed me. Five minutes ago.
this is so high school, please kill him now. ❱
but it is the middle of the night, elena is still awake, and he could wake up other people. so damon stays where he is, a ball of confusion and affection with nowhere to put either.
You ruin all my fun. I wanted to threaten one of your boys, do you know how long it's been since I got to be properly threatening? Lakshmi doesn't count.
because reasons!!!
there's a long pause, the sensation of damon holding himself tightly in check because otherwise he would be squirming in uncomfortable confusion and... hope.
Elena kissed me. Five minutes ago.
this is so high school, please kill him now. ❱
( Yes. )
[ If only she could leave it at that. If everything could just be laid out in front of her for Sam to see, examine, and tell her what the hell to do, because she has no idea. There are a thousand conflicting emotions, instincts, and thoughts in her mind, and she just needs someone to make sense of it all. ]
( I've been... attracted to Damon for a while, but it's... different now. )
[ If only she could leave it at that. If everything could just be laid out in front of her for Sam to see, examine, and tell her what the hell to do, because she has no idea. There are a thousand conflicting emotions, instincts, and thoughts in her mind, and she just needs someone to make sense of it all. ]
( I've been... attracted to Damon for a while, but it's... different now. )
[ She could, really. One of the benefits of the mental link means that when you can't explain something, you don't have to. You can just open up your mind and share whatever the hell's going on in there and hope someone can help you make sense of it.
But sometimes it helps more to actually verbalize things yourself, to actually sort through it and try to talk it out with someone. Sam's not sure which one she needs yet, so for now - he'll go with the basics, and try to talk it out with her. ]
( Different how? The kind you can explain or the kind you just feel? )
But sometimes it helps more to actually verbalize things yourself, to actually sort through it and try to talk it out with someone. Sam's not sure which one she needs yet, so for now - he'll go with the basics, and try to talk it out with her. ]
( Different how? The kind you can explain or the kind you just feel? )
[ Talking it out is what Elena needs, at least at the start. She's been pushing her feelings aside for so long, not acknowledging them because that's not who she wanted to be, so to take them out and analyze them now, to connect the same dots that everyone else already has... ]
( I don't know. It's... Becoming a vampire has made everything... heightened. Everything's stronger now, and more erratic. One second I'm drowning in my grief and the next-- )
[ The next. When she sees Damon, feels his mind brush against hers, that constant strength in her life. ]
( At first I thought it was just because he's the one who's here. )
( I don't know. It's... Becoming a vampire has made everything... heightened. Everything's stronger now, and more erratic. One second I'm drowning in my grief and the next-- )
[ The next. When she sees Damon, feels his mind brush against hers, that constant strength in her life. ]
( At first I thought it was just because he's the one who's here. )
[ He'd be more than welcome to. Sam's always been a physically affectionate guy, but the symbiote seems to have heightened it even more. But it is the middle of the night, so for the moment - the sensations over the mental link'll have to do.
He chuckles a little, fond amusement curling around their connection. ] ( Soon as I got something more concrete to threaten about you can go at it as much as you want. )
[ He trusts Damon not to go too over board, as long as he's in the right head space. And then Damon says that, and Sam immediately perks up a little. ]
( Hell yeah. ) [ Look, he can't help that his first reaction is happiness, all right, because it's about damn time.
Of course, since Damon's here talking to him about it instead of Sam having to come knocking and offer to shield their make out session from the rest of the Nest, he's guessing that's not all of it. Well, no - he knows Damon, and he's starting to know Elena, and he doesn't have to guess. ]
( But things are complicated. )
He chuckles a little, fond amusement curling around their connection. ] ( Soon as I got something more concrete to threaten about you can go at it as much as you want. )
[ He trusts Damon not to go too over board, as long as he's in the right head space. And then Damon says that, and Sam immediately perks up a little. ]
( Hell yeah. ) [ Look, he can't help that his first reaction is happiness, all right, because it's about damn time.
Of course, since Damon's here talking to him about it instead of Sam having to come knocking and offer to shield their make out session from the rest of the Nest, he's guessing that's not all of it. Well, no - he knows Damon, and he's starting to know Elena, and he doesn't have to guess. ]
( But things are complicated. )
[ Talking it out it is, then. Fortunately, Sam's done that a hell of a lot longer than he's had the mental link, and he hasn't forgotten it.
And no wonder she's having a shitty time of everything, if she's having to get used to her emotions being a lot stronger than normal on top of all the chaos that's going on externally. He makes a mental note to go over some emotion regulation stuff with her later, give her something to take the edge off a little until she's used to it - but that's for later.
He can't help but think that if everything is heightened, then that means it's just emphasizing something that was already there, but - that's probably for later, too. ]
( There's something to be said for the one who's here, you know. The one who you know is gonna be there for you. ) [ Dependable, that's what Shiro'd said, and maybe it doesn't seem all that romantic, but it sure as hell means something knowing that there's always gonna be someone in your corner that you can count on. ] ( But you said at first? )
And no wonder she's having a shitty time of everything, if she's having to get used to her emotions being a lot stronger than normal on top of all the chaos that's going on externally. He makes a mental note to go over some emotion regulation stuff with her later, give her something to take the edge off a little until she's used to it - but that's for later.
He can't help but think that if everything is heightened, then that means it's just emphasizing something that was already there, but - that's probably for later, too. ]
( There's something to be said for the one who's here, you know. The one who you know is gonna be there for you. ) [ Dependable, that's what Shiro'd said, and maybe it doesn't seem all that romantic, but it sure as hell means something knowing that there's always gonna be someone in your corner that you can count on. ] ( But you said at first? )
[ If there's anything she can do to take the edge off, she will. Gladly. It's like being on a rollercoaster from hell and some days she can't imagine living the rest of her life this way. How have Damon and Stefan managed all these years? But that's not important right now. ]
( The night I-- The night I died, I had to make a choice. Damon or Stefan. We thought they were dying and I couldn't reach them both. I chose Stefan. But I've regretted it. Even when I was making it, I didn't want to. )
[ And it's not just because that choice led to her death, though anyone who knew the entire story might jump to that conclusion. Yes, choosing Stefan had led to them going across the bridge that night, right into Rebekah's path, but that doesn't matter nearly as much as she would have thought it might. ]
( The night I-- The night I died, I had to make a choice. Damon or Stefan. We thought they were dying and I couldn't reach them both. I chose Stefan. But I've regretted it. Even when I was making it, I didn't want to. )
[ And it's not just because that choice led to her death, though anyone who knew the entire story might jump to that conclusion. Yes, choosing Stefan had led to them going across the bridge that night, right into Rebekah's path, but that doesn't matter nearly as much as she would have thought it might. ]
[ He lets their connection open up a little wider, giving her a place to bleed off some of those emotions if she needs to. It's not his usual approach - but it's not the first time he's done it, either, and he trusts Elena. She deserves a space to be herself, to get a little peace of mind.
Elena is not the girl she was when she made that choice, before she died - and she won't ever be that girl again. This kind of shit changes you, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. ]
( You can't unmake the one you made then, but that don't mean you can't wanna make a different one now. ) [ There's a soft hum to his side of the mental link, considering. ] ( What made you not want to, even back then? )
Elena is not the girl she was when she made that choice, before she died - and she won't ever be that girl again. This kind of shit changes you, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. ]
( You can't unmake the one you made then, but that don't mean you can't wanna make a different one now. ) [ There's a soft hum to his side of the mental link, considering. ] ( What made you not want to, even back then? )
[ She's clinging too tightly to her emotions for them to bleed over to the Sam yet, everything pulled in close while she struggles and fails to sort through it all effectively. But as the seconds pass by, more of it will begin to slip away from her grasp. ]
( I didn't want him to be alone. I didn't want him to die alone. He didn't deserve that. )
[ It hurts so much to think about those moments, to remember how she'd forced herself to make the right decision, that sharp ache in her chest as she realized what it would mean for him. ]
( I didn't want him to be alone. I didn't want him to die alone. He didn't deserve that. )
[ It hurts so much to think about those moments, to remember how she'd forced herself to make the right decision, that sharp ache in her chest as she realized what it would mean for him. ]
[ It's all right - Sam's a patient guy. He's not gonna try to pry them from her, cause she's got a right to her feelings as much as she damn well wants, but he'll be here when it starts getting to be too much.
I didn't want him to die alone.
Speaking of emotions - there's something fiercely protective from Sam's side of the mental connection, an ache in his chest that's almost a dull echo of hers at the idea of Damon dying at all, let alone by himself. ]
( No, he doesn't. But he doesn't deserve a lot of things that he thinks he does. ) [ To be hated, to be forever seen as the bad brother, as a monster - to not be loved by the people he loves most. Sam knows Damon, even if he also knows that Damon doesn't like that idea, and he deserves so much more. ] ( It's okay if you don't got an answer - but why did you chose Stefan? )
I didn't want him to die alone.
Speaking of emotions - there's something fiercely protective from Sam's side of the mental connection, an ache in his chest that's almost a dull echo of hers at the idea of Damon dying at all, let alone by himself. ]
( No, he doesn't. But he doesn't deserve a lot of things that he thinks he does. ) [ To be hated, to be forever seen as the bad brother, as a monster - to not be loved by the people he loves most. Sam knows Damon, even if he also knows that Damon doesn't like that idea, and he deserves so much more. ] ( It's okay if you don't got an answer - but why did you chose Stefan? )
[ The question catches her off guard, though it shouldn't have. It's the question she needs to answer most, the one she's been avoiding thinking of - which means it's one of the most important that Sam could have posed. For a moment, it's hard to breathe, her chest so tight that it hurts, and it will be clear to Sam from the ebbing tide of emotion within her that she's trying. And then-- ]
( I love him. I was in a relationship with him, I thought it was what I should do. )
[ But that's too simple an answer, and it doesn't even begin to encompass all the reasons she'd made that choice. ]
( Going back to Stefan meant going back to my friends, too. To Caroline, my best friend, and to Tyler. Matt was driving, I couldn't not give him the chance to say goodbye to them too. )
[ What kind of person would she have been if she'd kept him from that, when he hadn't gotten to say goodbye to Vicki when she died? But even that isn't all, and tears sting her eyes and bite into her heart as she struggles with the next, an image of herself rising to the surface of her mind. Her but not, a ghost who haunted them all in flesh and bone. ]
( I couldn't be like Katherine. )
[ And emotionally she begins to crumble, that desperate need eating away at her. To not be like that horrible woman with her face, the woman both brothers had loved, who had used them and who had caused Damon so much pain. She couldn't be like that. ]
( I can't be like her. It isn't fair. )
( I love him. I was in a relationship with him, I thought it was what I should do. )
[ But that's too simple an answer, and it doesn't even begin to encompass all the reasons she'd made that choice. ]
( Going back to Stefan meant going back to my friends, too. To Caroline, my best friend, and to Tyler. Matt was driving, I couldn't not give him the chance to say goodbye to them too. )
[ What kind of person would she have been if she'd kept him from that, when he hadn't gotten to say goodbye to Vicki when she died? But even that isn't all, and tears sting her eyes and bite into her heart as she struggles with the next, an image of herself rising to the surface of her mind. Her but not, a ghost who haunted them all in flesh and bone. ]
( I couldn't be like Katherine. )
[ And emotionally she begins to crumble, that desperate need eating away at her. To not be like that horrible woman with her face, the woman both brothers had loved, who had used them and who had caused Damon so much pain. She couldn't be like that. ]
( I can't be like her. It isn't fair. )
❰ that trust is going to end in a boytoy being pretty miffed one day, but damon, for one, cannot wait.
I'm holding you to that. Don't think I won't.
the way sam perks up at the reveal is... weird. both in how damon expected the answer and the fact that he expected it at all. in mystic falls, the reveal that elena kissed him would have gotten him dirty looks from all of her friends, a punch in his face from his brother, a well-meaning fatherly Talk from ric... no one would have been happy about it, probably not even elena. sam is, though, and what's more, damon kind of expected him to be.
when did he start taking sam being on his side as a given? this is going to come back to bite him in the ass, he knows it.
She's my brother's girl. My brother who is simultaneously in a coma on the station and also somewhere off in the multiverse the indentured servant of a megalomaniacal hybrid because he insisted on saving my life. She only wants me because he's not here. ❱
I'm holding you to that. Don't think I won't.
the way sam perks up at the reveal is... weird. both in how damon expected the answer and the fact that he expected it at all. in mystic falls, the reveal that elena kissed him would have gotten him dirty looks from all of her friends, a punch in his face from his brother, a well-meaning fatherly Talk from ric... no one would have been happy about it, probably not even elena. sam is, though, and what's more, damon kind of expected him to be.
when did he start taking sam being on his side as a given? this is going to come back to bite him in the ass, he knows it.
She's my brother's girl. My brother who is simultaneously in a coma on the station and also somewhere off in the multiverse the indentured servant of a megalomaniacal hybrid because he insisted on saving my life. She only wants me because he's not here. ❱
( You will never be Katherine. )
[ Sam's never met Katherine, and everything he knows of her has been through Damon or Elena - but he's confident in his statement. As far as he's concerned, he knows more than enough of her and Elena to be completely certain that she could never be what Katherine was.
Elena cares. About everyone, maybe too much - but Sam can't fault that. That's his downfall, too, and he's already noticed that there's a lot of ways that he and Elena are very similar.
He doesn't think Katherine ever cared about anything but her own needs, her own wants. ]
( You can tell me if I'm off base or if I'm overstepping - but it sounds like you did what you thought was best for everyone else. Stefan was the choice you should have made, and you needed to say goodbye to your best friends and give them the chance to say goodbye to each other. And there's nothing wrong with that, you know, it's probably what I would've done, too. )
[ He rolls out of his cot as he's talking, murmuring to the figure sleeping next to him that he'll be right back, as he makes his way to where Elena's very much not sleeping. ]
( Scoot over, huh? I got a question for you, but it's probably one better said face to face. )
[ And better said if Sam's able to pull her into his arms and give her a hug. ]
[ Sam's never met Katherine, and everything he knows of her has been through Damon or Elena - but he's confident in his statement. As far as he's concerned, he knows more than enough of her and Elena to be completely certain that she could never be what Katherine was.
Elena cares. About everyone, maybe too much - but Sam can't fault that. That's his downfall, too, and he's already noticed that there's a lot of ways that he and Elena are very similar.
He doesn't think Katherine ever cared about anything but her own needs, her own wants. ]
( You can tell me if I'm off base or if I'm overstepping - but it sounds like you did what you thought was best for everyone else. Stefan was the choice you should have made, and you needed to say goodbye to your best friends and give them the chance to say goodbye to each other. And there's nothing wrong with that, you know, it's probably what I would've done, too. )
[ He rolls out of his cot as he's talking, murmuring to the figure sleeping next to him that he'll be right back, as he makes his way to where Elena's very much not sleeping. ]
( Scoot over, huh? I got a question for you, but it's probably one better said face to face. )
[ And better said if Sam's able to pull her into his arms and give her a hug. ]
[ It doesn't matter how many times someone assures her that she's nothing like Katherine, that fear always seems to settle back in her heart, eating away at her more now than it ever had before. She hopes that Sam's right, though. She hopes for that with all her heart.
She can feel him moving closer as she processes his words, tries to internalize his acceptance and rationalization of her decision. His permission for it to be okay, because she hadn't done anything wrong in making that choice. She doesn't say anything as she moves over to give him room, not hesitating in the slightest or feeling at all strange about this closeness; it's just how they are, how Sam is with the people he cares about, and she appreciates that anyone would want to be close to her with what she is. ]
( You can ask anything. )
[ And he can, she realizes, and she'll answer him. Because she trusts him. Because it's Sam. ]
She can feel him moving closer as she processes his words, tries to internalize his acceptance and rationalization of her decision. His permission for it to be okay, because she hadn't done anything wrong in making that choice. She doesn't say anything as she moves over to give him room, not hesitating in the slightest or feeling at all strange about this closeness; it's just how they are, how Sam is with the people he cares about, and she appreciates that anyone would want to be close to her with what she is. ]
( You can ask anything. )
[ And he can, she realizes, and she'll answer him. Because she trusts him. Because it's Sam. ]
[ It'll probably always be there. That kind of fear is something that sticks with you, and the best you can do is be able to accept that it's not true, and remind yourself of that whenever it comes cropping up again. ]
( I know what it's like, to look in the mirror and see only the worst thing you could ever be. )
[ To compare yourself to the person you used to be and the one you think you should and find yourself coming up wanting, yeah, he knows that. And there's nothing he or anyone else can do about that, not really - it's gotta come from within Elena herself.
All he can do is slide into the cot next to her, slide his arm around her shoulders and pull her in close. All he can do is care about her, and keep being there when she finds herself doubting herself. It helps, that she doesn't hesitate, that he's able to just be like this with her.
He'd answer anything she asked, too. ]
( If all of that was gone, if there was nothing else but you and Damon, what would you want to do? )
( I know what it's like, to look in the mirror and see only the worst thing you could ever be. )
[ To compare yourself to the person you used to be and the one you think you should and find yourself coming up wanting, yeah, he knows that. And there's nothing he or anyone else can do about that, not really - it's gotta come from within Elena herself.
All he can do is slide into the cot next to her, slide his arm around her shoulders and pull her in close. All he can do is care about her, and keep being there when she finds herself doubting herself. It helps, that she doesn't hesitate, that he's able to just be like this with her.
He'd answer anything she asked, too. ]
( If all of that was gone, if there was nothing else but you and Damon, what would you want to do? )
[ Maybe one day she'll talk with him about that. Ask him how he dealt with it, how she can try to move past that fear enough that it won't have such a vice-like grip on her soul. But that's for later, because right now she moves into that embrace and finds comfort in it while his question threatens to shred her heart into pieces. ]
( I... If I was still human, I don't know what I would want. )
[ It makes a difference, regardless of whether any of them like it. Her future was different as a human, her options in life were different, the way people thought of her... Those tears come back to blur her vision, burning hot as they escape down her cheeks, and she can't hide anything from him. ]
( But I'm not human anymore, and I-- I want to be with him. Because I know Stefan won't love me like this, he'll want to change me, and Damon doesn't. He accepts me and-- and I-- )
[ She can't say it. Can't admit it to Sam or herself yet, but deep down she knows. Knows that it's there, that Sam can feel it as it permeates the churning ocean of her thoughts, that single emotion coloring absolutely everything in her. Whether it's the right choice or not doesn't matter. It is and there's no going back from it. ]
( I... If I was still human, I don't know what I would want. )
[ It makes a difference, regardless of whether any of them like it. Her future was different as a human, her options in life were different, the way people thought of her... Those tears come back to blur her vision, burning hot as they escape down her cheeks, and she can't hide anything from him. ]
( But I'm not human anymore, and I-- I want to be with him. Because I know Stefan won't love me like this, he'll want to change me, and Damon doesn't. He accepts me and-- and I-- )
[ She can't say it. Can't admit it to Sam or herself yet, but deep down she knows. Knows that it's there, that Sam can feel it as it permeates the churning ocean of her thoughts, that single emotion coloring absolutely everything in her. Whether it's the right choice or not doesn't matter. It is and there's no going back from it. ]
( You know you're the first one I'd come to if I needed it. )
[ He loves you Damon - and also Damon is one of his best friends. Assuming it doesn't involve Damon himself, there's no one he'd rather turn to about his ridiculous love life than him.
Of course he's on Damon's side. Sam's just about always on Damon's side - and he's pretty sure the fact that Damon actually expected him to be is a pretty damn good sign. It means that Damon's starting to believe that Sam means what he says when tells him that he's not going anywhere.
He stays quiet as he listens to what Damon has to say - and it'd be easy to say that maybe Elena should get to decide whose girl she is, or that Stefan made his own choices and Damon's not responsible for them. But he gets the feeling that Damon knows that, somewhere in there, and none of that is the point.
The point is that he doesn't think he should want Elena when Stefan wants her, and that he doesn't think Elena could ever want him if she had Stefan there with her. ]
( I know what it feels like to care about you, Damon, and I know what I've gotten from her. The way she feels about you - it's not just because the one she really wants isn't here. )
[ He loves you Damon - and also Damon is one of his best friends. Assuming it doesn't involve Damon himself, there's no one he'd rather turn to about his ridiculous love life than him.
Of course he's on Damon's side. Sam's just about always on Damon's side - and he's pretty sure the fact that Damon actually expected him to be is a pretty damn good sign. It means that Damon's starting to believe that Sam means what he says when tells him that he's not going anywhere.
He stays quiet as he listens to what Damon has to say - and it'd be easy to say that maybe Elena should get to decide whose girl she is, or that Stefan made his own choices and Damon's not responsible for them. But he gets the feeling that Damon knows that, somewhere in there, and none of that is the point.
The point is that he doesn't think he should want Elena when Stefan wants her, and that he doesn't think Elena could ever want him if she had Stefan there with her. ]
( I know what it feels like to care about you, Damon, and I know what I've gotten from her. The way she feels about you - it's not just because the one she really wants isn't here. )
[After two and a half weeks of not shaving, Bucky's eternal beard has become more intolerable than usual with the disguise catching on the hair whenever he dons or doffs the layers of material. He didn't exactly clean himself up before the mission either. Another day of racing for the rest of the Nest, but for Bucky he gets to work comparing tracks and sketching. An hour or so later, though, he's done with the constant catching of hair in thread.
He retires to his tent, giving Sam a quiet blip of his location, and pulls his knife from his bag. Off goes the disguise, along with a handful of hairs. Time to get down to business. He lays out one of the inner layers of the disguise across his knees before turning the sharpest edge of the blade to his face.]
He retires to his tent, giving Sam a quiet blip of his location, and pulls his knife from his bag. Off goes the disguise, along with a handful of hairs. Time to get down to business. He lays out one of the inner layers of the disguise across his knees before turning the sharpest edge of the blade to his face.]
[ Sam is gonna be real damn grateful for that, all right. As much as Bucky can rock the scruffy look - and he can, Sam's not gonna pretend like scruff isn't kind of a good look on Bucky - him wanting to do self care type shit is a good sign, even if it's just because the beard was starting to be annoying.
Bucky might not have meant it as an invitation to come join him, but Sam needs a break from being out in the other envoys, anyway, so he heads back to their tent. He starts stripping off the disguise as soon as he's deep enough inside, and then stops about halfway through as he spots his broodmate sitting there holding a big old knife to his face. ]
...I got a lot of questions right now, Bucky.
Bucky might not have meant it as an invitation to come join him, but Sam needs a break from being out in the other envoys, anyway, so he heads back to their tent. He starts stripping off the disguise as soon as he's deep enough inside, and then stops about halfway through as he spots his broodmate sitting there holding a big old knife to his face. ]
...I got a lot of questions right now, Bucky.
Edited 2017-09-28 04:34 (UTC)
[Bucky doesn't need to glance up when the tent flaps rustle. The symbiote tells him it's Sam. At the sound of his real name, Bucky looks up and the blade kisses his throat. For a moment, he blinks in confusion before it hits him. Oh. He remembers some of the darker conversations in the Gardens after Aoba's death, what this must look like after continued feelings of uselessness.]
Shaving. [He replies quickly, lowering the knife to his knee.]
Shaving. [He replies quickly, lowering the knife to his knee.]
Edited (changed his reaction) 2017-09-28 12:20 (UTC)
❰ the implication that however sam thinks elena feels, he feels the same — it's one of those things damon doesn't know what to do with yet, so his only option is to ignore it. sam is his friend, that's not in question — not right now, anyway — so the idea of sam caring about him is one damon has slowly gotten used to, like a frog being slowly boiled in a pot of water. damon is one of sam's boytoys, and damon is used to that idea too, even amused by it — but he's never considered that sam's affection might be more than that, somehow. now that he has, it brings everything in damon's head to a crashing halt for a couple seconds before he can right it all and barrel on, flagging that as not right now.
Not just, maybe. I know I'm pretty, Sam, and I know I make her happy. But no matter what she feels for me, it's never going to hold a candle to what she feels for Stefan. He's like a fucking... a black hole of affection. He sucks it all in and no one can escape his gravitational pull.
there's a sense of warring envy and guilt and hatred and love, all of them wrestling in damon's head and heart for supremacy. the guilt wins out, though, and stefan's adamant you're not dying today rings in his head.
My brother gave up his whole life to save mine. I deserved to die, I was ready for it, and he couldn't let me. Now he's up on the station, human, in a fucking coma, and I'm here, kissing his girlfriend.
goddamn, he's a piece of shit. ❱
Not just, maybe. I know I'm pretty, Sam, and I know I make her happy. But no matter what she feels for me, it's never going to hold a candle to what she feels for Stefan. He's like a fucking... a black hole of affection. He sucks it all in and no one can escape his gravitational pull.
there's a sense of warring envy and guilt and hatred and love, all of them wrestling in damon's head and heart for supremacy. the guilt wins out, though, and stefan's adamant you're not dying today rings in his head.
My brother gave up his whole life to save mine. I deserved to die, I was ready for it, and he couldn't let me. Now he's up on the station, human, in a fucking coma, and I'm here, kissing his girlfriend.
goddamn, he's a piece of shit. ❱
(Sam-!)
[He can't help how abruptly concerned he sounds. He doesn't even bother knocking, or anything like that. Just barges in, like kicking in a door. There's fear and concern and confusion like flickering lightning bolts through the stars.]
[He'd felt Annie's grief. Hadn't engaged, because it was too sharp, too much.]
[Now he's worried it had been too much for someone else, too.]
[He can't help how abruptly concerned he sounds. He doesn't even bother knocking, or anything like that. Just barges in, like kicking in a door. There's fear and concern and confusion like flickering lightning bolts through the stars.]
[He'd felt Annie's grief. Hadn't engaged, because it was too sharp, too much.]
[Now he's worried it had been too much for someone else, too.]
[ There's a quiet, instinctive reaction to seeing the blade at Bucky's throat - not exactly fear, but definitely something unsettled, a little bit protective. With the strength of their connection, Sam's pretty sure he'd know if thoughts like that had gotten so bad that Bucky was tempted to act on them.
Still, it's reassuring to hear. Sam doesn't comment on what it might have been - it isn't, and he doesn't want to go down dark paths or treat Bucky like he's fragile when that's the exact opposite of how Sam sees him - and he huffs out a soft laugh, raising an eyebrow. ]
All right, I got a few less questions. [ He sets aside the layers of his disguise, moving over into Bucky's space. ] That's gonna give you a shitty ass shave, sunshine, you always use a knife for that?
Still, it's reassuring to hear. Sam doesn't comment on what it might have been - it isn't, and he doesn't want to go down dark paths or treat Bucky like he's fragile when that's the exact opposite of how Sam sees him - and he huffs out a soft laugh, raising an eyebrow. ]
All right, I got a few less questions. [ He sets aside the layers of his disguise, moving over into Bucky's space. ] That's gonna give you a shitty ass shave, sunshine, you always use a knife for that?
[ It's better that they ignore it, anyway - it sure as hell isn't like Sam knows what to do with it, anyway. Right now he's just writing it off as one of those things that happens when you let yourself be as close with another person as he is with Damon, mental link at all - and maybe that's another one of those things that's for future Sam to worry about.
Damon calls Stefan a black hole of affection, and maybe he is - but in the few months he was at the Station, Sam'd never felt it. The guy was all right, but he wasn't Damon. ]
( You're good for her, Damon. And she's good for you. )
[ He's not gonna argue about what Damon deserves - they have differing opinions on the subject, Sam already knows that. He'll save the 'you sure as hell don't deserve to die,' argument for later, focus on him and Elena.
On making them both happy. ]
( You know I helped him with his shields, right? I never felt more from him than bittersweet nostalgia about Elena. ) [ It wasn't simple, of course, there was so much more under there that Sam never saw because he wasn't one to pry, but it hadn't felt like someone who was currently in love. ] ( I'm not saying he might not be pissed, I don't know him that well - but he's not here, Damon. Does that mean Elena has to put her life on hold until he wakes up? )
Damon calls Stefan a black hole of affection, and maybe he is - but in the few months he was at the Station, Sam'd never felt it. The guy was all right, but he wasn't Damon. ]
( You're good for her, Damon. And she's good for you. )
[ He's not gonna argue about what Damon deserves - they have differing opinions on the subject, Sam already knows that. He'll save the 'you sure as hell don't deserve to die,' argument for later, focus on him and Elena.
On making them both happy. ]
( You know I helped him with his shields, right? I never felt more from him than bittersweet nostalgia about Elena. ) [ It wasn't simple, of course, there was so much more under there that Sam never saw because he wasn't one to pry, but it hadn't felt like someone who was currently in love. ] ( I'm not saying he might not be pissed, I don't know him that well - but he's not here, Damon. Does that mean Elena has to put her life on hold until he wakes up? )
❰ I'm good for her? I know you're all about building up my self-confidence or whatever bullshit, Sam, but come on.
damon can concede that maybe, possibly, he is not a bad influence on elena, necessarily. he counteracts her obsessive need to take care of other people and forces her to really think about the effect her suicidal martyrdom has on other people. but he's hardly anything that good be called good, considering all that influence comes with a large dose of somewhat-waning sociopathy.
that question, however, makes damon frown, the instinctive and decisive no filling the mental link before he's even really had time to think about it. elena puts off her life for other people so much more than is even close to healthy, and damon would never want her to do it for stefan. but still...
It means that I'm a dick for making a move when he's not here to try too. ❱
damon can concede that maybe, possibly, he is not a bad influence on elena, necessarily. he counteracts her obsessive need to take care of other people and forces her to really think about the effect her suicidal martyrdom has on other people. but he's hardly anything that good be called good, considering all that influence comes with a large dose of somewhat-waning sociopathy.
that question, however, makes damon frown, the instinctive and decisive no filling the mental link before he's even really had time to think about it. elena puts off her life for other people so much more than is even close to healthy, and damon would never want her to do it for stefan. but still...
It means that I'm a dick for making a move when he's not here to try too. ❱
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